30/08/2014

#SurvivorCaramoan Finale recap (Mon 13/05/13)

Survivor Caramoan Fans v Favourites

Survivor: Caramoan – Fans v Favourites – Thu 7:30pm, GO! http://gochannel.com.au/SurvivorCaramoanFansVsFavorites FINALE R US!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everyone begins to traipse back to camp, fresh from stabbing Brenda neatly between the shoulder blades. What should be a happy occasion is suddenly interrupted by Erik having what eighteenth-century ladies would call a ‘turn’. He’s on the ground, head spinning, dazed and confused. It seems like it’s really not a big deal until Probst pop up out of the shadows. Forebode. The medics lay him flat and start checking him out. His pulse is too slow and the doctor explains that his body is in a state of starvation. They hook him up to an IV and start putting some life force back in him. His blood pressure is still way too long and the doctor isn’t going to risk it – it’s day 36 and Erik is officially … [Read more...]

#SurvivorCaramoan recap (Thu 09/05/13)

Survivor Caramoan

Survivor: Caramoan – Fans v Favourites – Thu 7:30pm, GO! http://gochannel.com.au/SurvivorCaramoanFansVsFavorites Survivor. Finally. Barely made it through the week. An Andrea-less day dawns on the island, as the remaining six gather themselves together. Eddie is sad that all his girlfriends get kicked out of the game. Dawn is spending her time making alliances with everybody and tossing up who to stab in the back next. She’s such a super lady. Eddie finds the tree mail and it’s from Sprint. Everyone knows exactly what that means, it means video messages from loved ones who are on the island for a challenge, and then they cry, and then I cry because apparently, I’ve become my mother. They watch video messages from Brenda’s dad, Dawn’s husband, Sherri’s (freakishly young looking) husband, Cochran’s mum, Eddie’s dad and Erik’s … [Read more...]

#SurvivorCaramoan recap (Thu 02/05/13)

Survivor Caramoan

Survivor: Caramoan – Fans v Favourites – Thu 7:30pm, GO! http://gochannel.com.au/SurvivorCaramoanFansVsFavorites Last week, Malcolm was voted off the island leaving eight people who spend their time alternating between being smug and dull. Reynold announces that he’s pretty confident he can win the next five immunity challenges and stay in it. Andrea agrees with him, giggles and tosses her hair. Cochran thinks that the Favourites  (and Sherri, who is a favourite in no sense of the word) have all the power and he just wants to suck up all the power for himself. He’s ready to get all manly and assertive and take CONTROL of this game. YEAH.  Way to take charge, Cochran! Now Malcolm and Phillip are gone, you can TOTALLY TAKE CONTROL. If Andrea lets you. Erik is dismayed to learn that there is an immunity challenge today. He was … [Read more...]

#SurvivorCaramoan recap (Thu 25/04/13)

130425-Survivor-Title

Survivor: Caramoan – Fans v Favourites – Thu 7:30pm, GO! http://gochannel.com.au/SurvivorCaramoanFansVsFavorites Anyone miss the Specialist? No? ME NEITHER! Enil Edam are back at camp after three immunity necklaces saved Reynold, Eddie and Malcolm, forcing Phillip and his red undies out of the game. It was a big move from the three very happy boys, who now find themselves without immunities and in a 6-3 game. Dawn is hugging and congratulating the three boys, because meaningless platitudes mean more than her stabbing them in the back repeatedly. I’d really respect the game she was playing if she owned her ruthlessness but she’s still sunning around like Pleasant von Nicelington and it makes me very, very angry. Cochran is celebrating never having to say ‘Stealth’R’Us’ again, which is gratifying, but shows again how pathetic it … [Read more...]

#SurvivorCaramoan recap (Thu 18/04/13)

Survivor Caramoan Fans v Favourites

Survivor: Caramoan – Fans v Favourites – Thu 7:30pm, GO! http://gochannel.com.au/SurvivorCaramoanFansVsFavorites Ohhhhh finally it's Thursday. Back at the beach, Stealth’R’Us have a super exclusive meeting to pat themselves on the back for getting rid of Michael. The three bros are fairly cheerful about being ostracised, which makes sense since the only vaguely fun people on the other alliance are Brenda and Cochran. The next morning, the camp is disturbed by Dawn’s hysterical screams. Brenda runs to see what happens and finds out that Dawn has lost her retainer in the lagoon. She lost some of her bottom teeth in an accident and has some falsies attached so this is a big deal. Dawn is frantic and threatening to pull herself from the game. She refuses to face the camera. I’m not a fan of Dawn but this is really heart-wrenching, … [Read more...]

#SurvivorCaramoan recap (Thu 11/04/13)

Survivor Caramoan

Survivor: Caramoan – Fans v Favourites – Thu 7:30pm, GO! http://gochannel.com.au/SurvivorCaramoanFansVsFavorites I don’t know about you guys, but I badly need my dose of Survivor this week. Dawn breaks over the new Enil Edam camp. Sad music plays, suggesting that we’re sad about Corinne leaving. Or something sad is about to happen? Or happy, because there’s a monkey… I just don’t know how to feel. Phillip is looking pretty smug about blindsiding Corinne, and he should do, since he’s pretty much running the game while the Favourites blithely follow his orders and pretend like they’re humouring him. Malcolm is sorry his coup didn’t come off like he’d hoped but he’s feeling okay. The only person who knew about his immunity idol is gone and he’s still got the Fans in his pocket. Without Corinne around to blab secret plans to … [Read more...]

#SurvivorCaramoan recap (Thu 04/04/13)

Survivor Caramoan

Survivor: Caramoan – Fans v Favourites – Thu 7:30pm, GO! http://gochannel.com.au/SurvivorCaramoanFansVsFavorites I don’t know about you guys, but I’m still fuming about Phillip after last week’s “I secretly threw the challenge” delusion. How can you humour someone FOR THIS LONG? Do they realise that he’s going to be on the jury now? DO THEY?!?! SO. Night vision. Michael is super happy he’s not at home and Corinne is super happy she got to “keep the gay”. She LOVES gays, whatever the hell that means. Condescending much? Phillip decides that he must immediately let Corinne and Dawn in on his masterful strategy. You know, the one where he decided to throw the challenge intentionally to eliminate Julia ASAP. It makes sense, since she was one of the biggest threats in the game. I mean, she was no threat in challenges, and her social … [Read more...]

#SurvivorCaramoan recap (Thu 28/03/13)

Survivor Caramoan

Survivor: Caramoan – Fans v Favourites – Thu 7:30pm, GO! http://gochannel.com.au/SurvivorCaramoanFansVsFavorites Last week we saw the tribes reshuffled into what Cochrane hilariously termed the ‘The Bold and the Beautiful’ and… well, everyone else. Phillip promised about 17 more people that they could be in Stealth’R’Us and we waved goodbye to Beardy Matt. Back at camp, Michael misses Matt. Corinne keeps telling us how much she likes playing with ‘the gays’ and is planning to swap someone in her alliance for Michael. Phillip super hates Corinne and tells Cochrane he wants her out before the merge. Cochrane calmly tells Phillip that it’s perhaps not the best idea. Phillip tells him, “As a federal agent, I don’t trust her.” Cochrane almost manages not to laugh. Bikal are a touch worried about the challenge, which apparently will … [Read more...]

#SurvivorCaramoan recap (Thu 14/03/13)

Survivor Caramoan

Survivor: Caramoan - Fans v Favourites - Thu 7:30pm, GO! http://gochannel.com.au/SurvivorCaramoanFansVsFavorites IT CAME, SURVIVOR TRAGICS! IT HAPPENED! IT’S THURSDAY! It’s my birthday tomorrow and TODAY IS STILL THE MOST EXCITING DAY OF THE WEEK. Will the Favourites beat The Specialist to death with his pink undies? Will Reynold’s ego reach critical mass and explode? WILL BRANDON WEE ON THE BEANS?????? Gota is back at camp after voting out Laura, who couldn’t swim very well. Reynold and Eddie have finally relaxed and stopped shouting at the people who currently hold all the power. The tribe agrees that winning challenges is the priority right now, and convoluted strategy can come later. To camera, Reynold is giddily recounting his genius move to play his immunity idol when he was in no real danger of going home. He’s pleased he … [Read more...]

#SurvivorCaramoan recap (Thu 07/03/13)

Survivor Caramoan

Survivor: Caramoan - Fans v Favourites - Thu 7:30pm, GO! http://gochannel.com.au/SurvivorCaramoanFansVsFavorites Thursday night is finally here, after an almost interminable six days of watching Other TV Shows and being entertained by Not Probst. Gota has just returned, fresh from voting out Hope, who scored less air time than the crabs. Eddie and Reynold have now both lost their lady honeys and will be now be turning to each other for night snuggles. Eddie is cranky. He starts demanding to know why Laura is still here, instead of Hope. Has he still not figured out that whole majority alliance biz? Eddie says that the ONLY reason that Hope is gone is that she was the prettiest girl here, proving that he is the absolute stupidest life form on an island that is populated by fish, insects and Phillip Shepard. Reynold now lays into … [Read more...]