Survivor: Caramoan – Fans v Favourites – Thu 7:30pm, GO!
Survivor. Finally. Barely made it through the week.

An Andrea-less day dawns on the island, as the remaining six gather themselves together. Eddie is sad that all his girlfriends get kicked out of the game.

Dawn is spending her time making alliances with everybody and tossing up who to stab in the back next. She’s such a super lady.

Eddie finds the tree mail and it’s from Sprint. Everyone knows exactly what that means, it means video messages from loved ones who are on the island for a challenge, and then they cry, and then I cry because apparently, I’ve become my mother.

They watch video messages from Brenda’s dad, Dawn’s husband, Sherri’s (freakishly young looking) husband, Cochran’s mum, Eddie’s dad and Erik’s brother. Everybody cries. Yes, everybody.

It’s challenge time and Jeff spruiks the Sprint phone a little before he puts them out of their misery. Brenda’s dad Raymond runs out to hug her. Brenda cries, Raymond cries, I cry and for the first time in 26 seasons, Probst breaks. I. Love. Probst. Erik’s brother runs out next and they awkwardly hug, wrestle and pat each other fondly. Sherri’s Jerry (Gerard? Jared?) runs out next and she breaks down sobbing in his arms. Next is Cochran’s mum. He’s weeping and apologising for his smelly island smell. Eddie’s dad Ed runs out and grabs his son in the king of all bear hugs. Dawn’s sobbing has become more and more hysterical throughout and finally Jeff brings out her husband to shut her up. It’s her 21st wedding anniversary and it’s all very sweet, but apparently I dislike Dawn enough to not care about her reunion. New low.

Brenda and Raymond take out the challenge, which is lovely. They get to hang out and eat barbeque with a Survivor friend+loved one of her choosing. She chooses Dawn, mainly because of all the hysterical crying. Then Jeff throws a twist in. Everyone’s second loved one is on the island too. Cochran’s dad, Brenda’s sister, Eddie’s mum, Dawn’s bestie, Erik’s other brother and Sherri’s son. Sherri begins crying so hard that she is literally on her knees in the dirt, sobbing. Brenda can give up her – and Dawn’s time with loved ones – and instead, everyone else can have both their people and BBQ. Poor Brenda is holding her dad so tightly and Dawn is heading towards hysterical again, because they both know what Brenda is going to do. Of course, she hands the love over to the other four. She probably deserves a million for that.

Brenda and Dawn are on the beach just looking about as broken as can be. Dawn is furious and ranting and starving and devastated. Brenda is deeply sad but is just about as Zen as ever.

About four seconds after Cochran hits the beach with a full stomach after an afternoon with his parents, he starts considering how quickly he can get rid of Brenda, who has clearly just racked up a little too much good-will. He’s right, it was probably a very strategic decision but still. Rude, Cochran.

The immunity challenge is all about upper body strength and Eddie the fireman badly needs a win. Hopefully Jeff doesn’t offer him a donut. The Survivors grip onto a rope behind their back and lean out over a jetty. Last one to fall in wins.

Cochran is first out, followed by Eddie, Erik and Sherri. Dawn asks Brenda to give up so she can have immunity, thereby lessening its value. Brenda gently refuses, wanting to see the challenge through. Brenda slips and Dawn wins it for real. She bursts into tears again.

It’s time for Tribal and the jury strides in looking clean, amused and fed. Andrea appears to have forgotten to wear pants. Either Eddie’s going home or everyone’s going to punish Brenda for being nice by getting rid of her. After a chat, they both know that they’re in trouble.

Eddie gets two votes, Erik gets one. Brenda gets three. That’ll teach you to be nice to people.

FINALE MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!