Junior Masterchef – The Final Week

Greta - 2011 Junior MasterChef Winner

And so the circus rolled into town and began the long, slow, and drawn out process of selecting a winner and a child to wear the crown of Junior Masterchef the 2nd. This series has taken a toll on both viewer and contestant alike. Plenty of viewers have fallen by the wayside as ratings have tumbled from the lofty heights of an unstoppable juggernaut, to the soul shattering depths of something that might involve Kyle Sandilands. Contestants, too, have fallen victims to the double edged plastic safety sword of being considered the best junior amateur chefs in the country. Even the judges have suffered under the harsh glare of a commercial failure. Witness both Matt and George’s hair loss. However, contractual obligations mean everything in this industry, and, even though its return next year is most unlikely, there was no way that … [Read more...]

Congrats Greta – winner of #JuniorMasterChef 2011

Greta - 2011 Junior MasterChef Winner

Congratulations Greta, winner of 2011 Junior MasterChef. Greta takes home a cash prize of $15,000 and a fantastic Junior MasterChef prize pack of kitchen goodies, while Jack received $10,000 and his own swag of prizes. This season's finale saw Greta and Jack compete in a series of challenges under the watchful eye of judges Gary Mehigan, George Calombaris, Matt Moran and Anna Gare, as well as special guest judges Tetsuya and Donna Hay. Winning with a total score of 92/100 to Jack’s 84/100, Greta who impressed the judges with her Deconstructed Citrus Tart with Tropical Mousse on Macadamia Nuts with Fresh Fruit and then, her replica of a famous Tetsuya dish - Steamed Tian of Queensland Spanner Crab with Bean Curd, Water Chestnuts and Junsai - judged and praised by Tetsuya himself. “I feel, like, amazing!" said Greta. "I told myself … [Read more...]

MolksTVTalk – the Podcast (S01E16)

It's a podcast of extremes: SteveMolk unleashes a no-holes barred barrage about Kyle Sandilands, Kyle's television career and how Kyle does or doesn't accepts criticism; Josh delicately balances on the fence not wanting to offend his current and possibly future employer by maintaining a very flaccid "objective" stance on the issue. We also speculate wildly over the content of the 2012 schedule launches of both ABC TV and Channel 9, while contemplating our navels and battling with ever-crappy internet speeds afecting Skype. (I also need to apologise for the length of this one. There was just so much we needed to cover.) TV, thy name be podcasted: This week's News has been replaced by rants and speculation (1:41)... Kerri-Anne vs Sonia Kruger vs Ch9. Big Brother (among other things) confirmed for Ch9 in 2012. ABC program … [Read more...]

Junior Masterchef – Week 8

Junior MasterChef - Mad Hatter's Tea Party

With the world on the precipice of an economical disaster, with Europe imploding and set to descend into anarchy, with our Prime Minister and the US President carrying on an affair so blatant one wonders how Tim and Michelle even put up with it, it’s nice to know that there is a little corner of the televisual world where innocence abounds and joy is a prerequisite. But this isn’t a story about Kerry O’Brien and his journey from the 730 Report to Four Corners. This is a story about a bunch of kids cooking. As the Disneyland odyssey wound down to a close, the prospect of going home shook some of them to their very cores, while for others, the prospect of being leered at by grownups in grotesque disguises also shook them to their very cores. However, of one thing there was no doubt. All of them would be going home, by some form of … [Read more...]

Junior Masterchef – Week 7


I’m no expert on making television involving children, but I imagine that there are some immutable rules. One would probably be never ask the children to do something you wouldn’t ask an adult to do. Another one might be make sure you keep them to manageable numbers because in a large group one might be easy to lose. And a third one might be to not expose the children to adults who are, let’s say, obsessed with themselves and obsessed with showing large chunks of themselves to the general public. Yet that’s pretty much what happened when the kids were taken to Venice Beach and were subjected to a group of very strange men, who, it seems obvious, are no longer that attracted to societal boundaries. What next: a walking tour of Kings Cross, Sydney? Cooking for the inmates of Goulburn Gaol? Yet the weirdest part was that the four … [Read more...]

Junior Masterchef – Week 6

Junior MasterChef 2011 recap

Week 6 started with the foreboding knowledge that 4 of the children would be sent home to their dreary lives replete with uninspiring ingredients and inferior quality cooking utensils, as well as being forced “back to school”, a euphemism for returning to state sponsored or private education to learn. Gary asked the kids to let out an enthusiastic and joint scream, presumably to hide the scream from the producers who had seen the latest ratings. George, between bounces, explained to the bottom 8 that to stay in the competition, there would be two challenges. The first one involved cooking the perfect curry, the last curry having spoiled itself on Celebrity Apprentice. Assisting with the judging was spice master, master of the spicerverse and former Spice Girl Kumar Mahadevan, who said that the perfect curry must have three things: … [Read more...]

Junior Masterchef – Week 5

Junior MasterChef 2011 - George Calombaris, ???, Matt Moran

After last week’s embarrassing debacle, where the contestants’ grandmothers’ collective incontinence issues caused widespread water hazards in and around the Masterchef kitchen, the producers erred on the side of caution and decided to move filming to an outdoor and altogether less spoilable location, letting the contestants loose on a 150 acre farm. The kids piled in the back of random 4 wheel drives when Harry revealed his hitherto well hidden psychic abilities when he suggested that they were about to take “some sort of a journey”. They were to be entertained on the trip by a DVD but some dunce had slipped in a horror movie, which most certainly came with an MA rating, when George’s hideous visage popped up on the screen. The grotesque gargoyle informed the children that they would be cooking in the country, getting their … [Read more...]

Junior Masterchef – Week 4

Junior MasterChef recap - Week 4

As Junior Masterchef moved into week 4, the show was beset with negative coverage relating to poor ratings. Unlike its adult version, Junior Masterchef has not successfully carried on the success of the first season into a successful second season, and people are successfully turning off in droves. What has led to this plummet in viewing audience numbers is difficult to say. Perhaps it’s because audiences are becoming savvier, recognising that what they see on television doesn’t exactly accord with reality. Or perhaps it’s because audiences are beginning to realise that shows like Masterchef, X-Factor, The Renovators and Gardening Australia use their contestants as no more than fodder, chewing them up and spitting them out when all the flavour is gone, and this approach is even more difficult to countenance when small children are the … [Read more...]

Junior Masterchef – Week 3

Matt Moran

Week 3 of Junior Masterchef started with the kids running into the kitchen, innocently oblivious of any occupational health and safety laws they were breaching, such is the joy of youth. George, ever ready to get in the spirit of things, came dressed as a child, while Anna just talked like one. George informed them that they want to get them out of the studio and into the real world, because obviously being 12 they’re almost adults and need to be prepared for when their exploitative school canteens force them to cook. Upon hearing that they will be undertaking a team challenge, Greta exclaims “Oh my God, that’s so cool”. One suspects it is not the last time we will hear this refrain. Broken up into four teams, the membership of each team is decided by the pulling of coloured spoons, which is similar to the way that teams were chosen … [Read more...]

Junior Masterchef – Week 2

Junior MasterChef recap - Week 2

The second week of Junior Masterchef begins with the top 20 still to be decided. 7 spots remain. We start with Gary and Anna announcing that 4 aprons are up for grabs, while Lily explains that she really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really wants to be the next Junior Masterchef, unaware that her Masterchef contract requires her to start each sentence with “I literally ....”. Matt Moran explains to the contestants that they must cook “the ultimate cake, for the ultimate guest” leaving them pondering who such a guest would be. Some whisper, “Donna Hay” “George” and “Matt Preston”. Their inability to grasp the meaning of the word “ultimate” is a searing indictment on Australia’s education system. Suddenly Gary is making some pretty wild claims about the size of his pantry, before a rising curtain reveals a giant … [Read more...]