There has been much written about The Shire, the new dramality* series coming soon to Channel 10, very little of it off the back of having seen any of the finished product. I subscribe to the theory that you can’t really judge a show until you’ve seen at least three episodes. You have to give a show time to breathe, time to develop the overall plot and characters, time to solidify its place in the schedule and prove the job it’s there to do. Those rules, however, can mostly be ignore when it comes to scripted-situation reality – what you see in the promo is what you’re gonna get.

When the first promo dropped for the The Shire, it was clear why they were allegedly having some production troubles. Bikinis in the middle of winter in southern Sydney? I wouldn’t have thought so.

Innocent enough though. No real indication of plot or characters other than the ‘roles’ the cast played in the promo. Ch10 do great promo too, and that’s a great example of it – a good tease, small indications of what the show will be about, enough to raise some interest. But then they did something that was either gonna play well for them or go pretty badly… they dropped promos starting to introduce the characters.

Meet Rif Raf (that’s his spelling of it, yes).

Those two boys are so in love.

Then, we got to meet Sophie and Vernesa (pronounced “Vanessa”).

Yes, they both really just said that.

“ENOUGH, MOLK!” I hear you cry, and well you may plead as that was to be enough until we were blessed with this “First Look” for The Shire just last night…

Layered. Intriguing. Dignified. All words that cannot be used to describe what you just saw. The Shire will be fluff and anyone who thinks otherwise is kidding themselves. It’s barely deep enough to drown in a puddle of its own vomit. They’re being pimped as our very own Kardashians or whores from the (Jersey) Shore and understandably those involved are lapping up the opportunity to be paid to do things someone else is paying for.

Will people watch? Absolutely – at least the first episode – and the show is likely to build a cult following if only for the “feel good” factor – it makes you feel good about yourself for knowing that you’re better than those idiots on the TV. Will it see out its first season? Without question. The Shire is bang in the centre of Ch10’s key demo and it will lap. it. up.

Do I like it? Nope (you couldn’t tell?!). Do I think it should be taken off TV? No way, as it’ll make for some insanely good escapist television that will engage the audience drawn to it and make stars of its participants. Not actual stars… more like “Big Brother season five” stars… shooting stars. Tune in, enjoy it and don’t be ashamed. Not all TV is for everyone, and if The Shire rings a bell with you then embrace it and watch it. Just don’t go all “Vernesa” on me.

*Yes, that’s now a word: drama + reality = dramality

The Shire – Mon 8pm, Ch10.