PREDICTION: The Misses of 2013

For every success, there’s a number of failures that don’t get to pilot stage. Then there are some shows that you simply wonder how they even got that far, let alone onto our screens. Inclusions in this list aren’t meant to be the kiss of death – a few of them haven’t even made it past writing yet. Nobody likes to see things fail and of all the predictions this week I hope that this list is the one I’m most incorrect when it comes to the content…

Spicks and Specks v2.0 – No Adam, no Myf, no Alan. Good luck with that, ABC1. (It’s a bold move that, given how loved the hosting trio were with the audience, to bring it back with anybody but them is near suicide.)
Tractor Monkeys – As much as I like Merrick Watts, Dave O’Neill & Monty Diamond, when the PR tells you the show’s premise is hard to explain well… for what’s meant to be a comedy panel show that’s a bad sign.
Twentysomething S02 – Jess & Josh are back and not enough people are going to care.

SBS one
Mad Men S04 – This fourth series is now three years old. Just too long between drinks (but still eminently watchable).

Channel 7
House Rules – Part The Block, part My Kitchen Rules, part Changing Rooms, part another opportunity for Ch7 to promote Johanna Griggs, part can-we-stop-this-already-please.
Dancing With The Stars S13 – Dear Australian celebs: When your agent comes to you and suggests that you should appear in DWTS and how it’ll be great for your career, remind them they should have said that to you in 2007. It’s too late now. Love, Molk.
Please Marry My Boy S02 – The cringe overcame the love and now that we all know how it works, how can it be anything but creepy?
Celebrity Splash – “Diving With The Stars” and it looks to be every bit as bad as that sounds. Think “Torvill & Dean’s Dancing On Ice” and the debacle that was. Good to see that despite it being 2013 and their willingness to copy formats from each other, sometimes the Networks have very short memories.
Red Widow – Behind the facade of happy families beats a Sopranos-esque heart, but none of it unravels until her husband dies.

Channel 9
Australia’s Got Talent – There’s a reason Channel 7 dumped it. Where’s the Do Not Resuscitate order when you need it?
Arrow – Any series that mentions the words “reinvention”, “hard-hitting” and “DC Comics character” sets itself up to fail.
Celebrity Apprentice S03 – All the gold here has been mined, in my opinion. Time to move on to more fertile ground.

Channel 10
The Biggest Loser Australia: The Next Generation – Obese parents and their obese children (kids – not adults) work together to shed pounds and escape the horror that is the white house, with it’s constant training and 300 calories-per-day food intake. Subjecting kids to this has to be against the Geneva Convention. Enough already!
American Idol S12 – Oh Keith, what have you set yourself up for? RUN AWAY!
Reef Doctors – It was supposed to screen in 2012 but Ch10 shelved it due to their poor performance as they didn’t want to waste it. Oh, that ship has sailed. The series will be nearly two years old by the time we’ll see it and it’s guaranteed to look it. Besides, Lisa McCune’s public profile is decidedly different now to what it was at the start of 2012.

My blog, my opinion. I’m likely wrong anyway. These predictions are made (in most cases) sight unseen/only having seen a promo/read the premise from a press release. What do YOU think will be a hit in 2013?

Author: SteveMolk

I like TV. Have done since I was plonked down in front of Sesame Street & Play School as a kid in the 70's when we only had two channels. Now we have over 20 free to air channels so imagine how much time I spend on my fat arse. Keep up, people. You can contact me here or tweet me at: @MolksTVTalk

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  1. Pretty spot on, except maybe Arrow. I’ve watched a few episodes, its terrible…however it has a legion of fans for a reason I cannot fathom, if they don;t screw with its audience by shifting timeslots or repeating episodes seemingly at random then it could do quite well in a 10pm? timeslot.

    Then again, perhaps its target audience are people who would have foudn a way to see the series already and wont bother tuning into Australian FTA TV.

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  2. Gotta disagree with you on Arrow, I’m pretty sure you’ll be pleasantly surprised :) Have already watched a few episodes and eye-candy not withstanding it’s just a simply entertaining escapist show. Enjoy :)

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  3. But surely all of those people from The Shire would be great on Celebrity Apprentice?

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  4. I actually liked Celebrity Apprentice and feel it has at least another series if cast for personality not who they’re married to. Are there any rumours floating as to who is doing it? Sharon Osborne (whispers), a Big Brother nonce, a House Husband (Gary Sweet would be interesting). Token comedian, angry ex footballer ( PLEASE Fev!), daft footballers girlfriend or WAG (please NO!) Ex – Block, Musician…

    In a dream world… Andy Lee, Fev and Natalie Garonzi. Fev would be a walking catastrophe and Andy would be some light entertainment and humour that the 2nd series missed. Garonzi has it all. Funny, opinions and brassiness. Fingers crossed.

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  5. Hope you are wrong about Reef doctors (we need Australian Drama on TV) and Arrow ( I really liked Smallville). I think we need less “reality” shows in Austraila and more drama, sci fi, fantasy and clever comedy. It would be really cool if Commercial TV would take a risk with some of the stuff that is only shown on Pay TV in Australia.

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  6. The apprentice,just call it that,perhaps if we recognize someone it would be a pleasant surprise.lets face it prime time TV Australia is not the best TV .dexter,GOT,30 rock,arrested development,girls,walking dead………need I go on?

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