The Biggest Loser AustraliaMon-Thu 7pm, Ch10.

Bedroom training with Michelle (oo-er!)

The aftermath of the 12hr temptation challenge and mud, glorious mud… but more on that later. We need to know just how many calories the White team consumed, if any, to see if they give the Blue team a run for team immunity. Enter idiot editing. Black and Red teams ate nothing, though their training may have left a lot to be desired. The Blue team hoed through 2,745 calories – Luke eating 818 calories, Ryan ate 836 & Hamish at 1,091 – we have a winner! (loser?). The White team ate nothing (no suprise at all) and it means the Blue team score immunity for all three of their weak-willed team members.

Lydia whines about the Blue team getting immunity “especially when they didn’t deserve to be there.” Trainer Shannan faces up to the Blue team to hear that his team won immunity for eating (which he already knew, thanks to Bunker Club) and pummels each of them into submission over their poor attitude. He wants to see all of them make themselves sick on the treadmills and immediately forces them to run at speeds never before achieved. Luke talks about how Shannan sees him as the leader – the leader that maniupulates and cajoles them into doing what ever he wants. The Red team are so smug thinking they did so good not eating, but Trainer Michelle is completely disappointed knowing they didn’t exercise. Trying to get that out of them was like pulling teeth. So Michelle starts pulling their teeth. Punished, hard. Lydia was amazed: “Who knew all the things you can do in a bedroom.” You can’t make this stuff up.

A big offsite challenge for the contestants today. It’s sprinkling and there’s a 2km course ahead of them with all sorts of obstacles, and the team that comes last scores a 2kg penalty (weight gain) for their next weigh in. Only two from each team need to take part, “so choose your fittest or least wounded,” says Hayley’s waterproof cardboard cutout hosting this segment. Each team member must complete each obstacle before the team can move onto the next. The teams start in, and it’s a quagmire.

Hamish is dragging the chain for the Blue team, really holding Luke up. Luke streaks through each obstacle and has to stand waiting to see Hamish struggle each time. The Red and White teams have raced ahead and are using the mud puddle stretch to jockey for positions. The mud is proving to be the collective achilles of the male teams as the Red and White teams leave them in their wake. The girls struggled with the cargo net but made it through pretty easily after banging out some nail scissors.

Blah blah trainer narration and encouragement. It all just sounds the same. Graham (Black team) is worried he’ll get stuck in the tunnels, but Simon grabs his arms and drags him through. Popping out of one of the tunnels Luke cops a full view of Hamish’s arse falling out of his pants. It’s a gentle moment, filled with pathos and a mixture of emotions for Luke. Then he pushes Hamish into the next “tunnel of love” and follows him in. Oh, the jokes I could offer…

The Red team have made it to the rope swing and spend up to one second on the rope before falling into the water setting a new course record. “Go Ninja, Go!” yells Trainer Tiffiny as she marches up and down the bank, trying to spur on the White team. Then all of a sudden she bursts into a cheerleading routine and shouts, “Go Flash, Go!”. No one is more surprised that Tiffiny. The Black team are soldiering on in third place, while the Red team hit the fun bags. And the large inflated tarpaulin bags anchored to the ground.

Hamish baulks at the rope swing and starts to argue through his tears with Shannan, who uncharacteristically is shouting in his face telling him he needs to grab the rope and get going. “I’m not brave,” cries Hamish. “No shit, Sherlock,” yells Shannan. Eventually Hamish grabs the swing and falls in the water and the narrative for the Blue team can continue. The Red team, meanwhile, have raced to the waterslide and slid through it. “It was really important to run home to that finish line with Lisa next to me,” says the Red team’s Lydia, “Mainly because I lost a leg in the challenge and I needed her to hold me up.”

It’s a race for third between the Black and Blue teams, with the Black team entering the last obsctacle first and Graham was struggling. He made it to the end before the Blue team but couldn’t get past the slippery mud at the end of the pool. The Blue team were catching up quickly. Now that the Red team have already complete the challenge and are winners WHO WILL BE THE BIGGEST LOSER OF THIS CHALLENGE?! Find out Monday…

My Kitchen RulesMon-Thu 7:30pm, Ch7

"I know I left my car keys here somewhere..."

After Team NSW’s Sam & Jillian had so much “success” last night, they were at the top of the Group 2 leaderboard. Being the only team to have competed so far. But the Team WA scienticians have got a few chemical reactions up their sleeves ready to surprise, amaze, amuse and horrify.

Emma and Andrew start the day by moving a bookcase, which has nothing to do with their instant restaurant though Andrew does cut his finger. They just had some moving to do. They agree that cooking is something that brought them together because they like experimenting together. A glass bowl is proudly placed on the centre of their instant restaurant table, ready for some ‘experimental partner swapping’ later on – completely fitting their 1890’s science/magic them and their restuarant name “Obscura” (which is latin for something, nobody really knows). “We’ve got a few science tricks up our sleevess,” offers Andrew. This is going to be very entertaining as both he and Emma are wearing short-sleeved shirts so the tricks will likely be few.

In the midst of setting up, their food-quality liquid nitrogen arrives. Then their food-quality carbon dioxide. Their their food quality phenylketonurics. “Some people have milk delivered,” says Andrew, cutting his finger. Some people are also not on the ASIO watchlist. To the shops!

Their menu seems pretty straight forward. Entree: Baked Marron in Citrus sauce; Main: Venison & Beer pot pie; Dessert: Fig Galettes with Maple & Macadamia Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream. Marron is one of Pete’s favourite ingredients, and Manu writes a note saying they will need to respect the truffles in the entree because it respected them overnight, even though they passed out drunk on the bed next to it. After throwing things in the car, Emma and Andrew race back home with 15 minutes to complete their instant restaurant (and to get some band aids because Andrew has cut his finger) before their prep time starts. They both acknowedge ahead of starting their prep that their prep time went like [clicks fingers]. What sort of magic demons are these scienticians, working through time!?

Team WA want to put WA on a plate, so they pull out a VERY LARGE PLATE and start lifting the upper layer of the earth’s crust and sliding the plate underneath. FACT: Andrew is prone to cutting himself (not in a goth way, in a “can’t prep food” way). FACT: Andrew was juices a small part of his finger. FACT: Emma is engaged to a man with 6 and a half fingers. Bringing the truffles out causes Andrew to explain why pigs are used to find them – it’s all about the pheremones. He rubs one all over his naked body and is seen running across the back paddock toward the piggery next door. He returns soon after, looking sheepish (piggish?), muddy, and with his hair slightly (t)ruffled.

“Just adding truffle doesn’t make things better,” offers Peter. He’s seen it abused too many times before. Poor little truffle. Team TAS are completely wowed by Team WA’s instant restaurant decor, though Team Qld’s Peter notes, “Being good at science doesn’t make you good at cooking. My expectations are pretty ordinary.” His partner Gary ‘mmms’ in agreement, and we suddenly notice he’s wearing a black fedora – not. ironically. God help us all. In the kitchen, Andrew cuts his finger.

The marron have dozed off, so now they choose to cut them in half (bastards) and after cleaning they prepare them as the entree. Team NSW’s Sam loves all the “scientifical stuff” on the table. She’s so Raven. Jillian feels like they don’t know the teams as they were stuck in the kitchen all night at their instant restaurant. If only she could remember WHY they were stuck in the kitchen. [cough] massive delays, poorly prepared and delivered food, inadequate delivery [hack].

Andrew cuts his finger – again – just as Pete and Manu arrive. Everyone is seated and we get the contestants first impressions of the menu. Team VIC’s Carly & Emily are impressed, but Peter isn’t intimidated.
“In my profession I cannot be intimidated,” says Peter.
“I think you were for a moment there,” suggests Gary.
“No,” confirms Peter, shaking his head with authority.

“Andrew’s the name, Marron’s the game, Finger-cutting a specialty,” recites Andrew, mantra-like. Emma’s impressed with what they’ve pulled off for entree and they rush out to serve. “Don’t make any excuses,” Emma whispers to Andrew. He gives her a funny look, which he excuses as wind. Manu’s girlfriend explains Manu is very impressed with the marron – it’s perfectly cooked. Pete’s concern the truffle isn’t sliced paper thin and it should be. It’s no disaster, but it’s no complete success. Their venison pie is coming along nicely, and Emma starts preparing the mashed potato as Andrew puts on another band aid after cutting himself. Pete has appeared in the kitchen and asks how they’ll cool the filling before putting in the pie form to stop the pasty getting soggy. Emma and Andrew look at each other with blank looks. Andrew somehow manages to cut himself on Emma’s stare.

“Let’s get sciencey about this,” says Andrew as they decide to use dry ice to cool the pie filling. They both add butter to the mashed potato meaning they’ve made a weird pie soup. The pot pies go in the oven as Team WA invoke their spirit animal – Puff the Magic Dragon. Plating up the mash looks like baby vomit, but with the other sides it has come together OK, but not for Team QLD’s Peter. He’s a mash expert and prefers BJ to Trapper as a foil to Hawkeye.

Pete’s impressed with the pie; not impressed with the potato paste. Manu mumbles something about the pie not being that special and he doesn’t think it measures up. Andrew cuts his finger in protest and Emma tears up at the first sign of criticism. Peter makes a comment that’s so completely Peter, and the ever supportive Gary agrees with him – it’s a beautiful thing to watch – and Peter doesn’t like the mashed potato. “Well, you make the best potato in the world so you would know,” affirms Gary. “Thank you,” says Peter, matter of factly. The other contestants are starting to eyeball Peter and Gary as threats.

The ice cream is a disaster on the stove, but Emma decides a sieving will save it. The fig galettes are in the oven, and it’s liquid nitrogen time. “I was praying to God and science came in to help us,” says Andrew, getting both athiests and christians off-side with one statement. The galettes are salvaged from the oven but they look pretty shabby. Packet figs too, not fresh ones. Dessert is served by a bandaged Andrew after they place a bowl of frozen CO2 on the table and pour warm water in it to create a layer of smoke crawling across the table. It actually looks pretty amazing. Though it’s not new to Peter – all smoke and mirrors.

Andrew’s fascination with Manu’s eyebrows goes to a whole new level. Then Manu says he was “so ‘orrifed” at the ice cream he saw in the kitchen, but is amazed at what they offered. Pete says the galette is dry and lacking fresh figs. Nobody notices the fingertip in the middle of each galette – a personal touch from Andrew. As for their scores… Team Tas – 6; Team Vic – 7; Team SA – 6; Team Qld – 6; Team NSW – 5. Total score 30/50. Pete and Manu scored:
P Entree – 6; M Entree – 7
P Main – 7; M Main – 6
P Dessert – 2; M Dessert – 4 (“I thought two was harsh. Two stings.”)
Overall score: 62/110
Out of disappointment seeing as they’re second to the disastrous Sam and Jillian, Andrew cuts his finger. Next Monday we’re off to SA for Nick and Rocca’s instant restaurant (where Peter thinks they’ll be shaking in their boots – he’s so encouraging).