The Block Sky High – Sun 6:30pm, Mon-Thu 7pm, Ch9
Another day, another episode of The Block: Sky High; so named for the fact that the constestants must build a secondary school among the very clouds themselves.
This episode opens with a Law and Order parody, complete with music and logo. It’s actually sort of adorable. The criminal investigation continues into the episode itself, as Scott explains that Alisa/Lysandra believe that Trixie and Johnno copied their idea (by way of gossiping tradies) for a steam room. I get why you’re upset, guys, but is it really that important to have an entire room dedicated to cooking your vegetables?
Alysandralisandra have banned tradesmen from their site, so I don’t know how they intend to finish the job. Oompa loompas?
It’s a very serious allegation (not really), but it’s really a “she said, she said” sort of situation… Except that this stuff is all recorded! Constantly. There is evidence of everything. But no, let’s just keep talking about it.
Johnno and Trixie decide to not have their steam room viewed by the judges during the room reveal. Will the judges ask what the mysterious cordoned-off room is, or will they just be relieved to have one fewer room to look at so they can go home early? Probably the latter.
The next morning, the Blockheads are summoned to the Werribee 4×4 park. I didn’t realise that there was such a place; I thought that the only tourism attraction in Werribee was the open range zoo. Or are they the same place?! Are the lions tooling around in four wheel drives?! That sounds TERRIFYING.
They arrive at the park, and Scott shows up in a tank, because why not? Is he going to solve this Trixie and Johnno vs Lysandrasanda problem once and for all by just reducing one of the teams to a fine mist? That seems drastic, but he’s got to do what he’s got to do.
After a break, Scott hops out of the tank, leaving himself vulnerable to attack by Axis forces. He tells the contestants, “This joint has everything the adrenalin junkie needs… except the good old fashioned Aussie thunderbox.”
I have no idea what he’s referring to. Is that a box in which AC/DC stores Angus Young in between performancs of Thunderstruck?
Turns out, no, he means an outdoor toilet. There are building supplies scattered at different stations around the 4×4 course, so the teams have to complete the course, gather the supplies and then build the toilet. It also has to be up a tree, so that snakes don’t bite you in the downstairs (how the heck did anybody ever colonise this riduiculous country for more than a week?!).
Oh, and they also have to balance a tray of eggs in the car, and the team who returns with the most intact eggs gets first choice of building site for their toilet.
Um… back at their actual building site… there are going to be inside toilets in the apartments, right?
The teams soon discover that there are obstacles at each station, and Madi and Jarrod nearly flip over as they approach their first stop. I have to say, it’s nice to see four wheel drives used for actual off-road driving, as opposed to just cutting people off on Toorak Road.
At one of the stations, Trixie grabs a gnome, because what you really want when you sit down to take care of business is a tiny pair of creepy eyes just staring at you.
Meanwhile, Madi and Jarrod grab a pot plant, because you need a little greenery around when you’re literally pooping in a tree.
Eventually, everyone arrives back at the site, with the twins coming first and Madi & Jarrod bringing up the rear. Because Mellisandralisa came first and didn’t break any eggs, they get first choice of tree, and first choice of apprentice to help them build. Patrick the carpenter, who winds up with Kim and Matt, tells them that he’s an apprentice chef, because he’s also an apprentice comedian.
So everybody gets started, and is unduly worried about the best view for the toilet, considering that the user will be sitting inside a box.
Madi and Jarrod are worried that they don’t have enough actual building material, because they just grabbed mirror balls and pot plants and whatnot. Will this tendency of theirs come into play back at the main building? Will they just have an apartment filled with old typewriters and smoke machines but, like, no kitchen bench?
Scott says, “some of the teams are getting a little bogged down,” which may or may not have been a clever little bit of wordplay. He then says, “Number one! Remember the brief! Number twos…” and he is just having the time of his life here.
Trixie recalls that “the toilet has to be fit for a king or a queen,” so she wants to put a crown on top of it. She… she knows that phrase doesn’t have to be taken literally, right? Meanwhile, Matt and Kim decide on a minimalist approach, because they understand that this is a toilet. It’s a get-in-get-out sort of proposition.
The twins’ are worried because their toilet doesn’t have a door on it, so they decide to compensate by making their toilet look good. Look, guys; if someone is using an outdoor toilet without any walls or doors, they want to draw less attention to it.
Building time winds up, and Scotty inspects the toilets. They’re all kind of ridiculous, so I guess that his job is to pick the one that you can get in and out of the quickest.
He winds up giving the prize to Madi and Jarrod, probably because they made an actual outdoor toilet instead of some weird bush-themed sculpture. So M’n’J win five thousand bucks, which they’ll hopefully use to buy an actual indoor toilet for their apartment.
Then it’s back to the block, where Scott drops a blockshell; the contestants will have to paint the whole outside of the building within the next two weeks. Based on their first bedroom challenge, maybe it would be better to avoid giving a painting challenge to Matt and Kim…? Do we want the outside of the building to be a Jackson Pollock-inspired work of “art”? Because that’s going to happen.
You can find Dan Hall on twitter at @danieljohnhall.