The Block Sky High – Sun 6:30pm, Mon-Thu 7pm, Ch9
http://homes.ninemsn.com.au/theblock/
The Block: Sky High is back, and with it comes more dramatically scored and edited montages about the most important home renovation in the history of mankind. This one’s about bedheads or something.
As the episode opens, Scott wakes the Blockheads for a new challenge that takes place in the nearby park, possibly involving swinging as high as they possibly can (please?).
Shelley meets them in the park and introduces the challenge; five pregnant ladies, all of whom need help from the contestants. Do they need them to step in as father figures for these kids? Because this show only runs for a few weeks. That doesn’t sound like enough time to raise a kid with any degree of success.
But no, they need to create a “dream nursery” at an early childhood centre called Tweddle, with five thousand dollars going to the winner. The nurseries will be judged by Shayna Blaze, and I’m still convinced that she was a circus daredevil before she got a gig on this show.
Shelley mentions that the winning pregnant lady will have the nursery installed in their own hope, and Trixie shouts “No! Pressure!”
To be fair, though, she shouts that when somebody asks her for her coffee order.
Alisa and Lysandra are confident that, since they have young children, they’re well suited to this challenge. Matt and Kim, meanwhile have had zero children. They’ll probably just wind up covering the walls in blood-red lightning bolts and ancient Latin words.
Bec and George are prepared because they have a book full of nursery sketches, because – as Bec puts it – “I love babies! I LOVE BABIES!” She turns to George and shouts this right into his face, and I wish I didn’t identify with him so much. I feel you, buddy.
Soon, the teams are all shopping for nursery furniture (you can just put babies in drawers, guys. They’re tiny). Except for Trixie and Johnno, who are shopping for paint so that they can paint clouds on the ceiling. They eventually decide that it’s too difficult, but neither of them realizes that you can get the same effect by just putting the baby outside. Think outside the box.
With one hour to go, all of the teams are back in their nurseries and hard at work – except for Trixie and Johnno, who are still shopping. Did they forget about the challenge and just start running errands? Is Johnno grabbing some stamps and then stopping by the pharmacy?
While painting, Bec explains that it gives her some satisfaction to help somebody who’s bringing new life into the world in the week after she lost her mother. It’s very touching, and it’s nice to see her making some peace.
Everyone else, meanwhile, is just figuring out that their giant cots won’t fit through the doors and into the nurseries. Matt just starts desperately dismantling his and shoving parts through the window, while the other teams get their cots inside through the magic of TV editing.
Then time is up, and Shaynna Blaze, ruthless vigilante, wanders through. Shaynna likes all of them, and I think that this show needs some harsher judges. Come on, Blaze! Destroy somebody with your words! Tear this mother down!
Shelley and Shaynna gather everybody together, and announce that Matt and Kim have won the five thousand dollars with their “enchanted forest” themed room. Is there an actual enchantment in there? Is that how they won? Are… Are Matt and Kim wizards?
The next day, they’re all back at The Block, for what sounds like a quiet day. Except that we’re re-visiting the bedhead drama, in which Madi and Jarrod made a new bedhead instead of using the one from the earlier challenge that they were supposed to use. This time, it’s Matt bending the rules, wanting to raise the bedhead from the earlier challenge. Apparently this is all very important and dramatic.
More dramas arise when some of the teams fire up power tools, even though it’s a public holiday (that’s a no-no). Keith is dragged to the site to lecture people, because that is his most valuable skill. If only he could be there to give a lecture on cultural sensitivity when Madi paints Native American-style war paint on her face and does a pretty racist impersonation.
After that unfortunate bit of business, Madi stops by the skip and realizes that Matt and Kim have thrown out their old bedhead. It’s the smoking gun! She’s blown this case wide open! You can’t handle the truth!
Since she and Jarrod got in trouble for trying to change their bedhead, Madi is adamant that Matt and Kim be held to the same rules. So she goes running to Principal Keith, who I really wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of.
Keith then escalates the matter to Scott and Shelley, which is like Darth Vader bringing in the Emperor to really mess you up. Scott calls a body corporate meeting/witch hunt, in which he asks everyone to repeat the rules as they understood them, and it’s a pretty effective exercise in demonstrating how little everybody listens.
Scott rules that Matt and Kim have to dig their rejected bedhead out of the bin and use it somewhere in The Block. Where are they going to put it? Can you put a bedhead behind a toilet? I know I like to lean back and take a little catnap while I’m taking care of business.
The episode ends on a sour note, with Matt confronting Madi for ratting on him. What will happen next? Will everybody survive this week? Probably not!
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Dan Hall is a frequent TV watcher and occasional TV writer-abouter. You can find him on twitter (@danieljohnhall)