The Block All Stars – Mon, Tue, Thu 7pm, Ch9
http://homes.ninemsn.com.au/theblock/

It seemed like a great idea at the time. Get the four teams to renovate four rooms at Ronald McDonald House as a challenge… that was until Josh set off the fire alarm and had THE ENTIRE COMPLEX evacuated. Cue “which clown” gags by the dray load. Who’s gonna pay for this? Eventually everyone’s allowed back into their rooms again and the challenge can continue.

Duncan’s able to see the silver lining: “At least the kids got to see fire trucks.” Also all the girls got to see firies.

A&P are painting with their “restful” green, when they recognise they’re the only team that is yet to have a drama. Cue Scotty to prompt them that the three litres of paint they purchased isn’t going to be enough. “Oh shivers,” says Amity in a perfect moment of understatement. What to do?

Josh has some limited options with regard to his install considering it’s so late but his plywood pushes on. D&D’s blue is getting there, but Dan is worried about finishing in time. Too much talk of psychology and not enough evaluation of Dan’s narcissistic streak.

Scotty, by way of his amazing negotiation skills, has arranged for some spare ceiling white to come from D&D but only if P&A paint their ceiling. Dani reneges and decides to just give the paint-poor couple their remaining paint without the labour. Awww. Then Phil rings the Mitre 10 guy they met today to ask if he could sell them some paint. At 10:30pm at night. Now that’s sponsorship.

90 minutes left and everyone knows they’re running out of time. The S.S. Disaster, ably captained by M&D, sails forth soundly. Phil the Mitre 10 guy turns up with an offsider and their paint. “Disaster averted,” says Amity, “well… that disaster.”

Beds akimbo it’s a sprint to the end. Dan accidentally takes one of M&D’s mattresses, but replaces it when he realises his mistake while there’s a camera around. All the primping, polishing, cleaning, bed-making, panicking and preening is pushed through and the assembly goes right down to the wire.

Given it’s P&A’s first challenge they’re handling it well but admit it’s a nightmare. Tools down called at 12:30am, and the Blockheads happily head off to their shantys back in Bondi for a few hours rest.

Well, it SHOULD have been a few hours rest – Dan & the boys sat up and had a few beers & steel wool pads, and they even tried to crack the code on the safes. Sorry heads have to be berroca’d as there’s only 4 days until room reveal. Floor sanders at 20 paces.

Because no challenge can go un-evaluated, entre Darren Palmer and she-of-the-Halo-dress HRH Queen Shaynna of the Throw Pillow. “They worked til midnight,” says Scotty, “Because we told them they had to.” He also explains the budget, colour palette and the fact that at least two teams are colour retarded.

The purple feature wall in M&D’s room is deemed to be a little too much, but they reveal themselves through their poorly prepared cushions. “Maybe eBay the chair,” says Darren. “Let’s face it – there’s retro and then there’s antique and these chairs were in the stable when Jesus was born.” It goes unsaid by M&D have left a pile of cash on the dresser that was there when the judges walked in by not when they walked out.

D&D’s room has a “calming, organic feel” and feels warm and homely. Queen Shaynna likes the blackboard because it gives her a place to list the many, many things the Blockheads do wrong style-wise. The headboard is a win, and overall it feels playful and seems to be a great place to be when not fighting for your life in hospital.

The muted green has played really well in P&A’s room. “It feels like a holiday resort if you’ve paid $5 a night for the room,” says Her Majesty. Darren’s able to count eleven different shades of green which means NO SEX when the kid’s beds are less than a foot from the parent’s beds. The open space they provided for the kids “to be kids” is noted benefit.

J&J stayed white but with a plywood feature wall, and the distinct lack of overall colour is noted by She-of-the-Halo-dress. “It’s a bit clinical,” says HRH Queen Shaynna. “A lot like my spa cum torture chamber.” Her Majesty has made her decision while Darren is still in two minds. Insert your own “two-minded” joke here.

Ruling pending, Phil has to make his own rulings in their room, including the realisation that he needs to re-learn what he has to do to complete pretty much everything. Thank goodness Mitre 10 can pop in and help set Phil straight. He’s keeping a brave face but he looks like he’s sinking.

J&J are moving rooms ahead and already selecting their bathroom fixtures and finishes so that it isn’t a problem when it comes time later. Their bedroom is a piece of cake by comparison. Then we see Phil attempting to crack the safe in their room. Yeah, right – this from the man who wasn’t sure if he needed one or two coats of paint on his front windows.

Dan’s also feeling the pressure. His extension is starting to overwhelm him – just as Scotty & Keef call him over to the back deck to have a look at the structural plans and give him the ground rules for the build: Dan can come and ask questions AND provide the answer he thinks is right, and all Scotty & Keef will do is tell him if he’s right or wrong. What a learning curve he’ll have in becoming a builder. As Dani rightly points out this means she’s about to do a bucketload of research for her husband.

Amity’s out and about sourcing all the bits they need for their front room and Phil is meant to be working. Meant to be. The cost of everything is what is amazing Amity. Just like Dan’s plan to replace his door has Mark agog. He’s stripping back their doors and fittings and is obviously proud of the outcome to clean up the gear. This has the making of four great builds.

At the Heritage Shop, Dani’s now sourcing tiles too. It doesn’t stop. Duncan’s just had word from Mitre 10 that their light fittings will take 5 weeks to arrive – lots more hunting to do. WHO RENOVATES HERITAGE-LISTED HOUSES!?! This is crazy talk.

It’s only room one and Dani’s already casting a critical eye across Dan’s work already (he’s barely finished cutting in). She’s feeling the pressure and sees J&J as their biggest threat and they’re who she really wants to beat, even if it kills Dan in the process.

All the effort yesterday has to be rewarded – Scotty assembles the teams to let them know Phil & Amity have won the challenge! HOORAY FOR WINNING! The judges felt their room met the brief spot on, and their colours were very well selected. $5,000 to charity (back to Ronald McDonald House to do another room) and the entire front facade painted by Wattyl’s professionals – AND the code to someone else’s safe. The couple have until tomorrow morning to work out which safe they wanna open. What will it be?!

Wanna get even more of The Block? Then Jump-In now and wonder what the hell you’re doing there.

“The Wives” have arrived to set M&D straight (and remind them they’re straight). Importantly, they brought coffee!!! Best. Wives. Ever. The ladies very generously arrived to collect the washing of their boys & bring them clean clothes. “It’ll give them something else to remind them of us as they wash our dirty laundry,” says Mark, ever the romantic.

Jen, Duncan’s wife, is already predicting it’s gonna be teary to leave he bloke by week 8. Awww.

9am heralds the announcement by P&A as to which safe they’re taking. M&D again prove they are THE team for their recap pieces to camera. Pure. Gold. Phil tells the group that in opening the safe it might contain something they don’t want, but in the end selects Dan & Dani’s safe. “No hard feelings mate,” says Dan. “We know where you sleep.”

Collecting the combination they head off into Dan & Dani’s place to open the safe and benefit from the spoils inside. Abhorrent instructions inside, poor speculation by the remaining teams outside. Amity’s worried they’ll spend all day trying to open the safe… yet he manages to do it first time out. Amity’s surprised Phil got it right the first time. Ahh, marriage. It’s the little things.

They swing the safe door open to reveal… a key, a wad of $50’s and a note saying “swap or not”. It’s a one time offer to swap houses. Cue Dan telling Scotty how disastrous it would be for he & Dani, given their plans out the back. Phil labours the decision and Amity insists they’re ahead in their own house.

Outside they reveal they got a paint brush, $7,000, a key and… “Was there anything else in the safe?” asks Scotty? “No, that’s it,” says Amity. SPECTACULAR GAME PLAY in not revealing the house swap offer. Dan asks if the cash is out of their budget, to which Scotty replies it’s out of their safe.

“The Block All Stars is too smart for me,” says Dani looking bewildered. Imagine how her husband feels.

The teams are sent packing which gives us a chance to learn why P&A didn’t reveal the house swap. “We weren’t gonna take so it didn’t need to be revealed,” says Amity. “Besides, we knew this way we could blow Dan’s tiny mind at some point,” offers Phil. There’s then mention of what the key is for – enter Phil into their house riding the tiniest mini-bike possible. Hilarity ensues.

But on Monday, it’s the first room reveal and one couple strike out. At least the boys still have each other.