The Block All StarsSun 6:30pm; Mon-Thu 7pm, Ch9
We’re seen the ads, we know what’s coming… two 10/10 kitchens. But from whom?! And why?! All we know is it’s been a massive week of tears, tantrums and tcheating – and the end is in sight.

As the sands through the hourglass, so the work continues on The Block. With the floors being done at P&A’s place the only entrance is “round the back” (the floors are always being done at Dan(i)’s place). Amity’s cracked the shits after Brad the Builder tried a gag & it didn’t go down well with the young mum who’d been up most of the night painting.

Dale gets a sleep in while Duncan starts naming the fish. “Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Keef, Mark, Mark, Mark…” It’s very therapeutic. He wants to smile again. He needs a chorus line to sing something from Annie.

The polished concrete has become somewhat of a burden for Dan(i) as it limits what they can and can’t do in certain timeframes, and they’ll need to seal it which renders the whole area no-go for a period of time. If only they could use Josh & Jenna’s power or something, but they’ve got too much going on to notice.

The “Price Is Right Showcase” moment with the table light has J&J at loggerheads. Again. With Josh’s plumber not showing up he’s gotta go get some stuff and see a guy about a cable or something. Or just got for a drive in a sponsored car (because it was overdue – almost a segment and no plug!).

It’s so hot on The Block today that it’s starting to take it’s toll on everything except Phil’s ability to talk. Somebody’s gonna owe some tradies some very cold beer by the end of today. Dani’s called in her parents to hold up the tarp over her painting. The cheapest of labour used in the cheapest of manners.

P&A’s heritage stove has arrived and it looks old. Dan(i)’s kitchen artwork has arrived and it looks dotty (it actually looks pretty awesome). Duncan & Dale have gone to visit the neighbours who are having a garage sale – a great chance to buy some presents for the other Blockheads as well as spend some production cash to spread some goodwill.

Josh talks good plumber (much better than his peace-making husband). He hopes Jenna’s getting ready to paint while he’s out.


Josh returns, barking orders. Then they have the bog fight (I thought plumbers were supposed to solve bog problems?). At least with Josh plumbing under the house he’s in his element AND he’s guaranteed to not be interrupted by Jenna. Plumbers… keep on plumbing…

SO MUCH WORK happening as the power tool deadline approaches. Importantly, Dan(i)’s builder Phil has shaved his top lip BEFORE the tool amnesty otherwise they’d all be in trouble from the Blockinator. He of the newly de-nuded lip and Dan have a brand new bromance blossoming – a stark contrast to earlier this week. Amazing what can happen when someone realises they’re a total dick and need to apologise. But the work remaining versus the hours remaining don’t seem to add up.

Thanks to the cheating that took place from the Gen Y alliance Dan(i) won the power challenge which gives them a point to remove from anyone else’s score. It’s looking grim and Dan can’t get over it. Everyone faces SO MUCH PAINTING that it’s entirely possible that someone’s going to pass away standing up with a paintbrush in hand and no one will notice. At least Josh has his priorities right in sitting down to play Xbox.

There’s Blockheads falling all over the place. But at least there’s possibility for a little sleep for some… though waking at 7am Dan(i) discover that Phil the builder didn’t return at 4am like he said to seal their polished concrete floor and so it’s tension all the way up to eleventy again. Dani’s upset, Dan’s disappointed and it’s all become too much. When Phil shows up not only is he unrepentant but also hell bent on getting the floor sealed. Dan(i) don’t think it’s possible given everything else they have to get done before tools down.

The final montage of primping, cleaning & foofing reveals if nothing else that there’s eight people on The Block who could all do with a good lie down (and despite what the US think sleep deprivation isn’t that good a form of torture).

Cue Scotty; cue whistle. It’s job done for at least two couples, with two other teams not even close. Should make for interesting comments from the judges.

Speaking of which, it’s time again to welcome Neale Whittaker (if only he’d kept the beard), HRH Queen Shaynna Blaze of the WOW factor, and Darren Palmer International Man of Designing and Stuff. Oh, and don’t forget the web and Jump In or something.

The judges kick off in P&A’s place and it’s very white. Darren likes it, and it’s the right side of traditional for Neale. The oven mirroring is noted and loved. The stars beckon and draw the judges up to the mezzanine – Neale wants to wake up and move in upstairs (free loader). P&A have turned their laundry into a second bathroom which gets big ticks from Queen Shaynna. Lots of warmth for Darren.

M&D/D’s place is not going to be a beige room. The cowhide splashback gets a nod, and the church pew too. Mark’s “reef and beef” design has the judges intrigued (I *love* the fish tank). Mark’s nervous; Dale’s mute with fear. As an acknowledgement of the week’s chaos for House 2 the laundry has been held over to next week (so that’ll hurt in the judging).

J&J’s kitchen has stuck with the high-end/luxurious feel they wanted to keep. “Look at that!” says Darren looking in a mirror. He then turns to see the vertical garden which all the judges are taken with. HRH doesn’t like the stools partially sticking out from the bench, though Neale loves the kitchen and garden inclusion. The laundry is noted as functional and practical, but not necessarily WOW.

Dan(i)’s kitchen is fresh, bright and spacious (they all are, notes Shaynna). The polished concrete is a win, as is the artwork. Her Majesty doesn’t like the way the original oven has been included and the corner window looks like it needs some work. The laundry struggles with space – the laundry cupboard needs doors that slide back in or no doors at all.

As much as the judges doth protest it’s a two way contest this week, and one of those looks to be a stand out.

The Blockheads have assembled, and so it’s time for feedback and the scores, and Scotty cannot wait to spread the good news. Or bad news. It really depends on who you are.

P&A – The judges loved the oven(s), the vaulted ceiling and the mezzanine. The second bathroom is a masterstroke. Raising the bar for everyone else in the competition.
M&D/D – The judges reckon the boys nailed it. The stove in the fish tank was very clever, the pew wins, and the rhino was a champion move. The styling felt very real. No laundry was a noted omission.
J&J – High end, beautifully designed, wonderfully finished. The vertical garden was genius designed. World class as far as Neale is concerned and he wants to photograph it for his mag.
D&D – The effort in getting the polished concrete done was well worth it and the judges now get it. Darren was disappointed to see the artwork… only because he wanted it for one of his clients. Shaynna loved the wall colour (“icing white”).

After all that, there is still time for scoring (Darren | Shaynna | Neale)…

Before the final scores are revealed, Dan(i) are called out to reveal what their “minus one” point plan was. It was all hush-hush until the final scores were revealed… We had a tie, and because of the point play there is a clear winner – by one point.

P&A: 9.5 | 10 | 10 (-1) = 28.5
M&D/D: 7.5 | 7.5 | 8 = 23
J&J: 9.5 | 10 | 10 = 29.5
D&D: 8 | 8 | 9 = 25

Congratulations to Josh & Jenna – what a win! Two tens, highest room score ever and $10,000! Also congrats to Phil & Amity who would have tied (legitimately did) were it not for the power challenge. Commiserations to Duncan & Dale who would normally be declared Chumpions, but it’s been declared a chump-free zone. “But I was looking forward to it, Scotty…” offers Duncan. The jackets get a run anyway and don’t Duncan & Dale look stunning in them? Next week – the Blockheads have to complete everything else.

The analysis of the win continues well after the scores are revealed. Pangs of conscience hit Josh & Jenna and Dan & Dani hard, no matter how they try to justify it. Duncan & Dale stay right out of the ensuing crap. Phil & Amity understandably hurt after a massive effort – to tie for first place with 29.5 – and then to lose because of a dodgy challenge win. It’s a bitter pill to swallow. Amity says something to Dan on the way out and it prompts a meeting of the Gen Y alliance with Josh somehow thinking he can take the moral high ground. It’s gonna make for quite the interesting week…