Survivor: Caramoan – Fans v FavouritesThu 7:30pm, GO!
Survivor tragics, rejoice! After what seemed like eternity, it is finally Thursday night. FINALLY.

The Favourites tribe wander back into camp, fresh from voting out the unsuspecting Francesca. This tribe is playing an end game on day 3. Their first vote was based on strategy so convoluted that they ended up voting out someone hard working, strong, intelligent and generally liked. Instead of voting off, say, the volatile former secret agent with the soon-to-be-saggy red undies and the bad temper.

Brandon is not happy that Francesca was voted off first (for the second time). Dawn and Cochran were the swing vote so according to Survivor logic, they must take responsibility for the decision. Realising this, Dawn forces Brandon to talk to her about it. He says he thinks it’s the harshest thing he’s ever seen. Dawn starts talking over him, trying to justify it by saying that he has no compassion for both sides of the argument. Really, Dawn? Moral high ground? Brandon is still angry and tells her that he’s a honey badger – no idea there – and they’re going to lose the game as a result of this move. She cries and tells the camera that Brandon was so, so awful to her. Dawn is in the foetal position on the beach, weeping and saying that she’s SO respectful to other people that she just can’t process it when people treat her badly. He’s so MEAN. It doesn’t even matter to her but when he treats people like that, it’s like POLLUTION. What on earth is she raving about? How does she get to be the victim here?
Brandon tells Erik that he’s feeling fed up and revengeful. He can feel Russell’s blood running through his veins. Forget the religious fervour of his last season – he’s ready to make camp life miserable, to play dirty and to go out with a bang. His eyes gleam maniacally in the night vision, so we know he’s seriously. Wicked.

Over at the Fans camp, everyone is working hard chopping, cooking and carrying. Except for Shamar of course, who is lying in the shelter, conserving his energy. He’s “laying low” and avoiding getting into fights by not helping with anything. He explains that he’s spending most of his time sleeping so everyone will think he doesn’t care about the game and isn’t a threat. Unfortunately, some of his fellow tribe members can’t seem to penetrate this Machiavellian strategy and foolishly assume he’s just a lazy, selfish waste of space.

The frat boys and their girlfriends have still got their cool kids high-school-lunch-table alliance of 4, so Sherri demonstrates a basic understanding of mathematics and forms a majority alliance of the other 6 “less cool” people. She also resolves on keeping Shamar around, hoping that he will annoy people enough that he will be an allay without becoming a threat. Shamar is pleased to be included, although nodding his head saps all his remaining energy and he is forced to take an immediate two-hour nap.

Cochran and Brandon are sitting on the sand, quietly discussing the night before. For some reason Cochran has taken a different approach to Dawn’s ‘aggressive victim’ routine and is calmly telling Brandon that they need to focus on becoming a cohesive unit and that he doesn’t need to feel like he’s in danger of going next. Brandon is serenely renouncing his plans to go ‘all Russell’ on the camp. It’s disappointing, but it turns out all he was going to do was spill the beans on the ground and throw some stuff so it’s probably for the best.

Cochran is severely weirded out by Brandon’s ability to go from extreme rage to pleasantness so rapidly. He compares it to the pathology of a murderer or sociopath. Right on cue, red undies stride into view, wrapped around some guy who thinks he used to be a special agent. Brandon explains to Phillip that he wants them all to work together. Phillip tells him that he doesn’t have enough data to know if he can trust him yet. He also tells him that he’s mid-management and Phillip – the CEO – doesn’t need to talk to him unless he wants something. Without even a trace of irony, Phillip tells the camera that he thinks Brandon is narcissistic, disturbed and crazy.

Brandon goes back to camp and announces that Phillip is a bully. Everyone has a heart attack and dies of not surprise.

It’s time for the immunity AND reward challenge. Probt is there.

We love Probst.

Michael is horrified that Francesca was voted off first. He calls the Favourites vicious. They all look proud. Weird game, this.
The challenge: three people sit on a raft, three people haul them out to a platform. The raft people dive to retrieve inflatable rings – when all nine are collected, they are hauled back to shore. The remaining three tribe members will do a ring toss for the win. Wanna know what you’re playing for? A complete fishing kit – nets, snorkels, marks, etc. Whoever wins this will be eating well.

The fans have to sit someone out, and it’s Laura. Everyone huddles together to strategise. Phillip offers to do the ring toss and Shamar has a 14 year-old girl tantrum that no one wants to listen to his ideas. The fans have a slight lead when they get to retrieving the rings but it’s pretty close. Suddenly the favourites pull ahead. They’re rotating their divers, while the fans are leaving Sherri to do the lot. Finally Hope deigns to get in the water. By the time the favourites have nine rings, the fans are boasting only two. The favourites have a big lead. Malcolm has landed two rings with only one to go before the fans hit the beach. However, Reynold is tossing rings for the fans and after last week, his insane throwing skills are a real chance to steal this win. He lands one, Malcolm misses once, then twice. Phillip steps up and manages to land one for the win. The favourites are elated, the fans crushed.

Reynold thinks Shamar is a clear choice to go, on account of the laziness and unpleasantness.

The favourites are back at camp and pawing through their fishing bounty. Phillip takes Malcolm for a walk to tell him everyone’s nicknames – standard operating procedure for the CIA, no doubt. Corinne is The Dominatrix; Malcolm, The Enforcer. Phillip explains that he is resurrecting his former operation, cleverly named Stealth’R’Us. Malcolm thinks he’s completely delusional and ridiculous but isn’t stupid enough to make a big deal about it. Other nicknames are The Eliminator (Andrea), True Grit (Dawn) and The Intelligence Attaché (Cochran).

Back at the Fans camp, they’re discussing what went wrong. Lack of leadership and unequal distribution of muscle are thrown around before Shamar makes the mistake of weighing in with some unintelligible self-righteous comment. Reynold pounces, his voice almost quivering with rage. He tells Shamar that his behaviour is not acceptable where he comes from. An argument breaks out and no one takes turns so I have no idea what they’re saying but Reynold calls Shamar childish and then does an impression of him and Shamar repeats meaningless phrases like ‘let it be’ and ‘it is what it is’. We cut away to Allie who is looking forward to Shamar going home. While it’s a possibility because he is highly annoying, she’s clearly completely and utterly clueless of the fact that she and her obnoxious little clique have not being ingratiating themselves with the rest of the tribe. Reynold announces he will be voting for Shamar. Shamar encourages him to.
Reynold and Eddie wander off into the jungle to do some work and Shamar yells at them to shut up.

So it turns out that beardy Matt is considering attaching himself to the frat boys. Maybe then they’ll invite him to all the cool parties. It’s infuriating to watch, but then he hasn’t heard the way they talk about themselves in private. He’s got Michael in his pocket and undecided about which four to vote with.

Matt and Michael are the swing votes. On the beach, Matt tells Sherri he wants to kick Shamar off to keep the peace. He points out that even without Shamar, they’ll have a 5-4 advantage over the frat boy clique. Laura arrives and puts Allie’s name forward as Option 2. It’s going to be between Shamar and Allie.
Reynold has decided to look for a hidden immunity idol and stumbles on it almost immediately. He is super excited. He tries to play cool but Laura immediately notices a bulge in his pocket. She’s worried that Reynold is planning to give Allie the idol tonight. I have a feeling she overestimates how much he values his night-time spooning partner – a girl he teamed up with because she ‘wasn’t the cutest, just kind of nothing’.

The fans arrive for their first tribal council and Probst starts with the foursome. Eddie and Allie brush it off as an age thing, and say they’re not being exclusive, it just happened. Shamar says he thinks Hope and Eddie are a couple – they have clearly have never seen Survivor before because they giggle at this damning accusation. Probst questions the wisdom of being so open about being a group of 4. Matt offers that he doesn’t think it’s a big deal, and maybe they all just sleep on the beach away from the group because it’s more comfortable. Yeah, and no one came to your birthday party because the invitations just got lost in the mail. Dude, please be lulling them into a false sense of security.

Shamar reckons he’s not eating enough, which is why he can’t do anything. They chat about a lack of leadership for a while and then get back onto Shamar being lazy. Eddie makes the startling assertion that Shamar spent 19 out of 24 hours in the shelter yesterday. That’s impressive. Okay, maybe I’d get rid of him first. They’re about to go and vote when Laura amazingly decides to call Reynold out about his pocket bulge. He is horrified that she noticed. He looks completely crushed and tries to guilt Laura about outing him.

It’s time to vote! I of course want Allie to go, because it’s more interesting if Shamar stays and annoys everyone. Don’t know if I could live with him though.

The first four votes are for Shamar. The next six are for Allie. 6 does not beat 4. The majority has decided to split the clique. The remaining three are shocked and Allie is mortified. The fall out from this is going to be unbelievable. I cannot stinking wait.

Next week! Shamar CRACKS it! Brandon threatens to pee in the rice and burn down the shelter! Phillip’s undies become sentient and stage a coup!