Big Brother Australia – Sun 6:30pm, Mon-Fri 7pm, Ch9
Tonight on Big Brother, everyone’s playing the game but pretending they’re not and a special message from our Prime Minister.
It’s the crack of dawn, Michael and Ben are on Big Baby duty. This week’s task sees them having to feed/pat/change Big Brother’s baby. It’s also ‘Fathers Day’ in the BB house, which means the girls must cook breakfast for the dutiful dads. Stacey has a new found respect for her mum due to the task,
“now I understand why she doesn’t like me”
The task is wearing thin, as 2 Men and a Baby change and settle Big Baby back to sleep.
Stacey has a “Best.Dad. Ever.” Tshirt to give to one of the guys… The girls bring the dads breakfast in bed with the loudest most irritating entry imaginable. Ben’s given the tshirt and a full slathering of Stacey’s irritation.
“do you have a volume?” he asks her
Angie says she’d only trust Layla and Zoe with her future children (cause we all can’t wait for that day) Layla and Angie discuss the fundamentals of parenting. The dad would HAVE to get up in the night and NEVER assume that the mum should get up. Layla says her mum was treated like a princess and that her dad used to always get up. They agree they’d never be with a man who would make them get up. Ben listens in, thanking God he will never be their man…
Big Baby starts screaming her lungs out. Michael and Ange run in to comfort her. Ben and Stacey can’t fathom how people have children and work at the same time. I also wonder this while breastfeeding and typing simultaneously… Stacey calls him a ‘wise old gay’ and Ben agrees that’s possibly why he was put on the planet – he’s there to serve everyone else… Benji seems defeated today.
Angie and Michael are still in the baby’s room, but their minds are on Estelle. They say she walks around talking like Niki Minaj, meeping and has nothing to say during conversations. We cut to Estelle in the pool talking with 2 miniature blow up swans. Ange asks who’s here just for the 250k. Michael says Estelle. Ange agrees, and also Sam.
Sam and Estelle are in the kitchen talking about how motivated and awesome they are. In the house they reckon it’s a negative and used against them.
Michael thinks Sam’s a huge threat. He thinks Sam needs to get rid of himself and Ben because they ‘demand’ more than banter and jokes in the house. Ange says Sam thinks Estelle is bonkers – yet we’re watching them in the kitchen bonding. Wow. Mind games. His ‘inappropriate boyness’ will be his downfall.
Sam, Diary Room.
He thinks he’s being nominated for being clean and tidy. He’s happy with the nominations this week. 2 of the 3 people that he nominated are up. He says he likes Ben but sees that he has everyone wrapped around his finger. No one will nominate him. He has secret ‘chats’ with people to pretend that he ‘gives a shit’ about them – it’s not getting past Sam. “Do I trust him? No. Do I think he’s playing the game, yes. And do I think he’s a threat, yes”
The Lion King and Queen Bee, Michael and Ben talk about the threat that is SAM. They think he could take out the competition.
Ange & Layla, Diary Room.
BB has decided that it’s time for Layla to become a true blue Australian. Angie’s job is to teach her everything she knows and believes to be Aussie that will help her pass her citizenship test.
SHEILA A LA LAYLA.
Ange even has a Green and Gold coaching outfit with whistle. She could give Sharon Strezlecky a run for her money.
Ange starts with our 5 favourite animals: Kangaroo, koala, platypus, emu, dingo.
What is the most popular Australian sport to play at a bbq? Cricket.
What are the 2 most Aussie things we put on a bbq? Snags and shrimps.
Ben pipes in mid-shower to tell her the best Australian actress is Nicole Kidman. “Our Nic”
Outside, Stacey is dressing herself in the baby’s clothes and doing a crazy dance.
Ange is loving her new role. She heads outside and the quizzing continues. Zoe wonders why they didn’t include Echidnas. “didn’t make the cut” says Ange.
They practice the National Anthem and Layla is all like ‘Wot’s that” dirt by the sea business.
Stacey and Zoe are up for parenting duties. Can you imagine Stacey as your mum? She’s a cross between Patty Newton and Joan Crawford. Poor Big Baby might have an irregular heartbeat so Stacey must have a listen – and here comes the projectile vomit! Exorcist baby is in full force and Stacey is not happy.
Now Layla must show off her Aussie transformation to the house. She heads to the Diary Room for her test. She get all of Angie’s questions right and ends with a smashing rendition of the National Anthem. She is now an honorary Australian citizen. She’s stoked! She now has a certificate and has won a message from the outside, Guess who? Julia Gillard. Layla is gomsmacked, while Michael soon realises it’s NOT the real Julia Gillard. Fooled the rest of them though.
There’s a water bottle incident outside, involving Sam crushing Zoe’s plastic bottle. How dare he! “why are you with that Douche” says Zoe to Layla. Ooooooh. Harsh. “it’s alright, we’ll be out soon, I’ll find you a nice boy” While throwing her venom Sam’s way, she can’t get enough of Michael. Kissing and hugging and booby-ing him all over “I’m getting as close as I can this week” says Zoe (who’s up for eviction) Michael awkwardly keeps his eyes shut, while Zoe clings on for dear life. Oh God I can’t watch, make it stop.
3 new nominees, Diary Room.
They tell BB what they’re planning on making for dinner, Baked Cheescake sundae with chocolate and ice cream, nuts and a cherry on top. Layla says it will be nice for the house to finally have a meal that wasn’t prepared by Estelle. Yeah Estelle, what a bitch you are for cooking every night.
Later on in the kitchen.
It’s chicken nachos and then beef burgers for main. Americana is the theme, so the Dr Peppers are brought out, and you’d think Stacey just won the lotto. Cheers all round. It’s time for a serious conversation. Stacey brings up family. Who wants kids?
Sam is looking forward to it, but it won’t be for a while.
Michael says he feels selfish and he has a lot of plans for ‘me’
Angie knows she will have kids, it’s just a question of how many.
Ben has tried to have kids…and it doesn’t seem to work. Apparently he needs some kind of wooooomb. Haha.
How have they changed since entering the house?
Michael says he entered the house wanting to make people happy. He says he stopped doing that a couple of weeks ago, and in a round about way says he doesn’t give a shit about hurting anyone now.
Estelle says she’s come to realise she’s a bit left of centre and a bit strange. She’s cool with it. Stacey says she gets that all the time.
The housemates retire to the loungeroom while Chef A La Layla creates a caramel cheese cake sundae monstrosity! It’s huge.
The conversation heads into crazy sugar town as the Housemates give in to their Diabetes one by one. Ben starts drooling and Ange giggles like a stoner. I REALLY feel like an ice cream right now… Stacey and Ben end up pashing with their ice cream.
Michael announces to BB that he is pregnant with a cheesecake baby. He shows us his growing protruding baby belly. Congratulations!
Michael is comatose on the lounge. Even Delilalah passes out on her bed.
Ange tells us some long story about her most embarrassing date. They took her date’s dog ‘Wally’ for a walk along a pier at sunset, her shoe gets stuck and she falls off the pier in the water with poor old Wally who had arthritis. So her date jumps in to rescue the dog. They end up at the vets trying to resuscitate the poor dog. (dog lives) Sugar rush sends housemates into fits…
Ben, Diary Room.
BB tells Ben that Big Baby has lost her first tooth. She needs the Tooth Fairy to come. “what better fairy than me?” Ben must change into a fairy costume without the housemates noticing and deliver the money and collect the tooth from Big Baby.
The housemates snuggle into bed. Ben’s waiting for everyone to settle so he can make his Tooth Fairy transformation. But Michael has other plans. He decides to jump on the treadmill and work off the Cheese cake sundae…in his jocks and sunhat.
The lights turn off in the bedroom and Ben sneaks round to the hatch where his costume is waiting for him. The night vision is hilarious of him crawling on the floor.
Meanwile Michael is singing a fat man song on the treadmill. He heads back in the bedroom with Ben crouched in the corner as a fairy. Deliliah starts barking and off he goes! Running through the house like a mad fairy. He runs in, drops off the 50 cents and BB reminds him about the tooth! He runs back for the tooth which in turn wakes up the baby, He runs out of the baby room and delivers the 2 teeth to the Diary Room. Task completed. Phew.
And “Little Sister” commences. The new Wednesday show that gets into the nitty gritty of what the HMs are thinking. The HMs are in the Diary Room answering YOUR tricky questions.
If you could go on a date with Big Brother, where would you take him?
Hire some Kayaks and blindfold him and take him to a special island, Beebs, welcome to the best date of your life. Drink champagne, and mack on in the sand. SO romantic.
Talk us through your tattoos.
Some strange Mexican tattoo
Brush Them – a tat to remind him to brush his teeth
Love Life on his feet. Vaguely serious.
A beer bottle that says LOL
And and Ice Cream and a KFC bucket.
Brothers – inside his mouth. Cause his mum wouldn’t be able to see it.
Never ending pack of tim tams, or Sam?
Sam. But she wouldn’t GIVE up tim tams.
If breaking up with Layla guaranteed that he could win BB would he do it.
YES. (he says this without hesitating) He could set up his life with that money. If he and Layla were meant to be together then they’d be opening a café together.
Do you have a strong connection with her?
She’s a beautiful person. (eek)
Would you rather be stuck in a lift with Ryan and Nicole Kidman? Or Bradley and Madonna?
Bradley and Madonna, because Nicole would find him strange and Ryan would suck the life out of him…
Why did you drop out of High School?
Firstly, she had to support herself. And a few things kept her mind off school. She’s had a colourful upbringing. With a single mum who couldn’t work. A dad who couldn’t emotionally or financially support them. She doesn’t live with regrets.
Do you think you’ve played the game well so far?
Probably haven’t. Without naming names…Michael
Do you think you’ve played the game well?
He’s played the game from the moment he got in there. And anyone who says they’re not, is lying.
What drives you bonkers in the house?
Michael eats like a mad slob and licks his fingers. And people who don’t do their dishes.
What drives you crazy in the house?
Cleaning. People who use 10 million pans to cook. It’s giving her OCD
Would you rather win 250k or find true love?
True love. So lame she says. She’s never been in love.
Which girl in the house would you kiss if you HAD to.
They’re all not ideal. Ava? But that would be a dog act. Maybe Angie, because she would throw up from it.
Do you wear pants more on the outside world?
She has a job on the outside world, so yes. But hanging with friends, not really. Her mum told her to flaunt her body while she has it.
What was it like coming out to your family?
People knew his orientation before he did. Took him a long time to realise it. He didn’t go through puberty for a long time. He’s in a loving relationship with his partner.
If you could go back again, would you choose Ryan in the first week?
She always says no regrets. He’s gorgeous on the outside but she thanks him for the time.
What’s the biggest thing that’s changing about you in the house?
Confidence. She’s trying to push herself a little more. Wearing a swimsuit was really hard.
Would you consider yourself a man eater?
Giggles. No… She just found 2 really close bonds with people in the house. She’s not like that on the outside.
Would you like to date Sam on the outside world?
Yes, she’d like to see him.
How do you woo the ladies?
- Manners. Please and thank yous
- Dress sense
- Keeo them guessing
- Never give them too much
If you could choose Grant or Ryan Gosling for one hour?
Ryan, only because she could never see him in the real world. She’d pash him, tell them they belong together forever.
And that is all for tonight. Thanks for reading. You can find me on twitter @whatCJsaw where we can talk all things BB!