Big Brother Australia – Sun 6:30pm, Mon-Fri 7pm, Ch9
Tonight we celebrate the entry of two new housemates and the final two guys are snuck in – but first… angst!
Sonia welcomes us reminding us that two more housemates are coming in, before throwing back to the last 24 hours in the house. George & Ryan came in to lots of cheering and shouting like they’d brought entertainment with them. Finding Ryan a bed has caused Michael to go in and talk with Big Brother about how he hopes everyone thinks he is a combo of Jack Black and Zack Galafinakis. Stacey wastes no time busting out her best exercise routine for Ryan.
Ryan thinks Michael is funny, but he’ll soon change his tune. Michael tells BB that Layla’s past boyfriends, from how she describes them, are “Part douche, part gym, part hairgel…”, so he must be in with 33% of a chance.
Layla thinks she’s worked out who the millionaire is, but no on can really understand her anyway.
Josh gives Bradley a lesson in how to perve on chicks. Stay classy, Josh. Bradley still looks like a teenage lesbian, but he’s revelling in his role of student to everyone. Sarah reveals that she just changed her undies in front of them – in fact, in front of Bradley for the first time. “Stop looking, stop looking.”
George & Ryan pop in for a chat with BB. He asks them how they’re fitting in, and George feels like the new kid in school with a million dollars in his bank account and the worst dreads ever.
Bradley has taken to channelling a younger, stupider, geekier Eminem, and Estelle thinks it’s a bit of alright but only as long as the relationship stays platonic. The girls still manage to talk all over each other no matter how many of them are in the same room together.
It’s 10:15pm and Sarah thinks she can try to out George & Ryan as the one afraid of birds by taking them to visit the stuffed ones on the antenna. Ryan confesses to her he hates birds. The language barrier causes Lalya to think he meant her and she’s ropeable.
Angie takes the time to warn Estelle that her friendship with Bradley may be misinterpreted into more than it is. “There’s nothing…” says Estelle. Bradley’s geeky heart breaks in the distance. The girls continue their conversation in the loo – a BB staple. The girls are all called to the parlour, where they immediately swap notes on who they think fits which secret.
Bradley, like Pavlov’s Dog, goes to sit by the entry door after the girls are called away as he’s expecting a new housemate. The other boys chat about their new shared experience.
In an attempt to stop the girls talking over each other, they use a water bottle as a microphone and only the person with the bottle can speak. It lasts 8 seconds. The boys compare notes on who is hottest within the girls; Layla and Estelle debate if George is the millionaire.
Layla insists Michael is just like an English “lud”. Zoe admits she thinks George is hot. Viewers wonder what sort of fresh hell is this.
It’s time to meet new housemate Ray – he’s a vet, he’s assertive, he’s a gym junkie, and he’s got a double bachelor in doucebaggery. Sonia preps him for entry by reminding him that he has no idea how the housemates have been getting along.
Ray enters with a “Hi guys, sorry I’m late”, and the boys are all in with the handshakes. The girls are too busy screaming “millionaire” at the screen to notice anything else. There’s lots of questions for Ray and when they learn he’s a vet they take him straight in to the fish tank to ask what the fish are.
The boys show Ray around the place and he’s pissed off as he realises there’s no chocolate milk. BB releases the girls and they flock to the new boy. Hugs all round. Charne has to pronounce her name seven times for him, but she’s used to it by now.
Michael shows Ray how to get into the diary room for a chat with BB. He’s straight in to complain about the fact there’s no chocolate milk. He offers to make his own if BB can supply the syrup. In leaving he calls BB “mate”, and BB calls him out on it. No nonsense BB.
He comes out and bitches immediately about BB being not very friendly. Ray goes back into the diary room to apologise and ask for a beer. Oh, and because he’s feeling remorse. BB calls him out for referring to BB by a “naughty name”. Ray apologises (“I’m all into the bromance”) but it’s not enough for BB. He’s sent to the naughty corner for calling BB a naughty name.
Upon exiting Ray has to ask the housemates where the naughty corner is, and they’re very pleased to show him where it is. He puts on the hat and the coat, and has to write “I must not call Big Brother naughty names” 50 times – until BB is satisfied. Michael gets called out for not wearing his mic (again), and it would seem BB has bigger plans for him. 50 push ups please, you lazy, unkempt hairy man.
Meanwhile Ray is busy writing lines. It must be killing him. He tries to get out of it by writing about 23 lines and then writing “I MUST NOT CALL BIG BROTHER NAUGHTY NAMES FIFTY TIMES”. The girls tell him he won’t get out that easy, but the boys egg him on to stand firm and not do it. Ray relents and finishes writing as BB originally requested.
Michael and Stacey touch base as to the “dynamico” in the house, proving again that these two don’t have enough collective brain power to light up a small bulb. Ray completes his task and BB pops up to tell him is penmanship is borderline illegible but that he can now leave the naughty corner.
There’s an immediate Ray update by Angie in the kitchen for those absent, including her judgement on what Ray’s behaviour will score him from BB if he continues like this.
It’s time to meet our final housemate – Benjamin. He’s catty, intelligent, and he’s camp as a row of tents and doesn’t want to talk about it (and will talk about how he doesn’t want to talk about it for 35 minutes). He doesn’t like liars, but he sells vouchers over the phone so he’s clearly a walking contradiction. “This is the most amount of nothing I’ve ever known,” says Benjamin, and Sonia looks straight through him like he is nothing.
Benjamin walks slowly into the house (the girls have already been separated and already picked him as gay) and finally meets the other boys. The girls have Ben picked as the one who’s not had a girlfriend since he was 11 (stereotypical much?), and the boys play an age guessing game that has us on the edge of our collective seats for at least two seconds.
Ben asks, seeing as he’s been pigeon-holed as being gay, if he can pigeon hole Michael as a bogan because of his hair. “Someone get a fire extinguisher because you just got BURNED!” yells Bradley at Michael. The girls rush out to meet their new sister, and the boys know when it comes to an immunity challenge they’re now in trouble 8-6. Charne introduces herself to Ben and repeats her name seven times as is her way.
Estelle and Stacey take Ben into the bedroom to help workout the sleeping arrangements, while Michael has a cry to Sarah and Bradley over being called a bogan. Charne is so surprised her eyebrows have up and left the house. Charne and Ben are bonding hard, but then every gay needs a fag hag.
There’s some concern across the board about how the “original 12” will need to be around Ray. “He’s a bit touchy,” says Bradley. Ben apologises to Michael about calling him a bogan by explaining his gayness is the least interesting thing that defines him, and tells Michael all the reasons why his gayness is so not an issue that the sun begins to dawn on the conversation.
BB calls George & Benjamin to the diary room and as expected they’re given their luggage (also the luggage of the other two recent additions). Ben tells BB that he feels like a bit of a novelty, and that it’s foreign to be treated like an accessory, except by his other gay friends. George says it’s different but that he’ll buy his way into their hearts.
As they settle for bed Bradley asks Benjamin when he “turned gay”. Ben explains to Bradley and Michael he didn’t hit puberty until he turned 18, at which point he knew he was gay. HEL-LO! [finger snap]. More talk of being gay without it being a defining stereotype about Ben.
Michael comes to the diary room to unload about Ray… he just thinks he lying about something or hiding something. Maybe it’s that Michael feels threatened by a confident, successful man who knows how to attend his hairdresser’s appointments?
Bradley gets Stacey to smell his neck, leading Stacey to ask if he’s a horse. Bradley explains it’s his aftershave “Eau de Equine”, but not before Ben steps in and says that Stacey needs to kiss Bradley and get it out of the way. “It’s nothing sexual, it’s just me manipulating the situation to prove I have all the gay power in the world.”
Zoe shouts out that “We’re gonna do it on Saturday”. Ben apologies to Stacey when it’s revealed that Bradley wants Estelle to do it. It gets lost in the noise of Michael being “jelly” over all the eye masks some of the housemates have to help them sleep. After nearly killing Ryan spinning him with his mask on, it’s lights out and nigh nighs for our precious 14 Big Brother housemates. The family is complete… for now.