Big Brother Australia – Sun 6:30pm, Mon-Fri 7pm, Ch9
Tonsil hockey.

Michael and Estelle are playing tonsil hockey. Is anyone else totally weirded out by this phenomenon?

As the housemates wake, Zoe is still stirred from broken slumber. She was woken repeatedly by “fits of rage” and paranoia about which bed Estelle was in…perhaps she could hear the schlurpies coming from the Hotbed of Iniquity.

Ben reveals to Zoe that Michael would be upset about “the incident.”

Pricking up Zoe’s ears, Ben goes on: “Estelle hopped in to bed with Michael and was giving him a cuddle.” Ben also goes on to say that Michael was totes awkward and uncomfortable about the whole situation!!!!!!!!! WHATTTTTTTHHHEEEEEEE??????

I have called shenanigans before and I call it again: Michael is up to something and honesty is dead in the house.

While the housemates chat about the Michelle (Michael/Estelle, geddit?) fiasco, Michael is in the shower, chased by Estelle who is showering with her boozies out, of course between he and Sam.

Poor old Zoe is love roadkill and Michael has just done burnouts all over her poor little heart. The conversation continues in the bedroom, painting Estelle as the Scarlet Woman and Michael as the poor, unsuspecting victim.

Ben seeks the wisdom of BB and tries to covering his tracks by feeling bad that he has revealed something he shouldn’t.

As Estelle leaves the bathroom, Zoe tells Layla that she’s not even mad, just disappointed, and will tell her why shortly…

Michael goes out to work on his leather, while Estelle launches in to a weird aerobics thing in the diary room.

Meanwhile Zoe tells Layla that her disappointment stems from Estelle saying that Zoe is so special to her in the house, yet has slipped herself into Michael’s arms. My love for Mickey is in a weird place right now, as I try to work out where his head is at. Not that I think anything badly of Estelle, per se, but the whole situation is like a really bad street performance: you don’t really want to look but it is just so bad that you can’t help it. Albeit with a weird, one eye squinted type puzzled look, if you get my drift.

Estelle tells BB that she is in a weird place with Michael, that they used to dislike each other but now, despite his anxiety over physical affection, cuddles her at every opportunity. Estelle sees it as “just a comfort thing,” something that will not continue outside the house; I don’t know that Michael thinks the same, although I am undecided whether this is strategic (a comeback to Sayla), or if Michael is seriously laying his feelings on the line.

Either way, Michelle are pretty pleased with themselves right now, meanwhile poor lil’ Zoe has been ruined, I say RUINED by unrequited love and betrayal.

I think this episode should come with a swashbuckling Mills and Boon book cover: Michael, shirtless, long hair flying across his bare chest, standing Fabio-style at the prow of his pirate ship, while Estelle, dressed in red, has her fingernails in his chest, and Zoe, in white corset arms wrapped around Michael’s leg, gazing up at him adoringly, with the pain of a woman scored……anyhoo.

We are back from the ad.

Ben and Zoe have been welcomed into the executive bathroom while the other housemate couples (Sayla and Michelle) have a cud-cud session on the pods, chatting about how weird it will be sleeping in their own beds at home.

Sam asks “What movie will we go see together as our first date?” revealing in one short sentence how much he wants to see Layla on the outside.

Later while in the bedroom, Ben and Zoe quiz Estelle over her bed activities last night. Giving nothing away, Estelle leaves the bedroom but Layla tells Zoe & Ben that they were cuddling on the pod. Layla is speculating whether “storyline a day keeps eviction away” (CLEVER) and like myself, wondering if it’s just strategy. Ben and Zoe are just confused, and Ben (who never says anything nasty about anyone. Totes.) says right out that it’s two faced on Michael’s part.

Zoe is starting to question everything she knows about love, and is struggling with the realisation that for some girls it takes months to build up something with someone, while Estelle and her bikini body has managed to completely flip a relationship of pure hatred into something else entirely, and seemingly overnight.

It’s BBTV time and Michael is hosting “This is Sam’s Life,” where we get to see images from Sam’s catalogue modelling past, oo er. He has his shirt on so not much to tell here.

The Captain’s Challenge is Ben’s last chance to throw a sookey la la, I mean WIN, and this week sees the HMs saddle up for a Western Style bull-riding competition, won by Estelle and seconded by Benji.

Estelle and Ben are sent to the diary room to collect some tools for the next round, while Michael is subjected to the Spanish Inquisition by the other HMs. Michael decides to lie outright and say he Did Not Hook Up With Estelle. Okay.

Estelle and Ben emerge with pistols, ready for a duel…………….I don’t really get how this worked but Ben wins (Noice) and is totally ecstatic; until BB reveals he is going into CQ alone. Not for long though as shortly after entering, BB lets him pick a HM, followed by 3 others, to join him. Ben picks Layla first, then Zoe, and Michael, leaving Sam and Estelle to have the house alone.

BB producers must be rubbing their hands together right about now- either way there was going to be a win. Michael and Estelle free in the house without HMs around to watch every move, or Estelle and Sam, how is that going to work with the awkwardness???

In CQ, the HMs continue to quiz Michael about bed last night, and Michael dodges like a smooth politician. He does say however that the after party where there are no cameras he would hook up with any of the girls, including Estelle. He also says that his moments with Estelle have been weird, which gives the implication that Estelle has driven the whole process… hmm.
Sam tells BB he doesn’t know what to talk to Estelle about since he’s been feeling weird about the “flirting.”
Surly comes to visit Sam and Estelle, offering drinks (!), MUSIC (!), and all Sam & Stelle have to do is scream like they are having a ball. BB amps up the effect by adding crowd noises to throw off the HMs in CQ.
Sam can do somersaults. Backwards. Repeatedly.

Surly is pleased at the effect it has had on the confused HMs in CQ and reminds Sam & Estelle that tomorrow morning they are not to talk about it….

Confidential time!