Big Brother Australia – Sun 6:30pm, Mon-Fri 7pm, Ch9
*** 6PM DAILY SHOW ***
(In case you missed it, the Sunday daily show runs at 6pm on GO! to allow for the news on Ch9 and for BB tragics to keep up ahead of the Sunday night live show.)
Tonight, Bradley gets new jammies and potential heartbreak. RYAN YOU BASTARD (shakes fist at sky).
Brad, Josh & George are talking Brad’s impending 19th birthday while prepping the pizza oven. The girls are called to the Parlour for their last chance to arrange who with what before the secret guessing comp. They’ve got a few right but a few wrong – so they could be in a world of pain.
George is busy talking about his sister and how many of her friends he’s hooked up with, while the girls can’t hear him but see him on the screen and fawn over how nice he is. Suckers.
Ryan is paged to the Diary Room to talk about who he’s connecting with – Estelle. “Not just her looks but her personality. And her rack is shit hot.”
Michael is walking around the kitchen in his undies and is challenged by Angie, who immediately palms it off to Josh. Josh & Estelle are called to the Diary Room to tell them they & the HMs have to arrange a party for Brad IN SECRET. Superhero theme. Food and drink supplied. Michael and Josh hope Estelle gets the Catwoman outfit. Copyright and licensing, people!
The girls talk about who’d they hook up with if they were the last 14 members of the human race, and George features prominently on their lists. Ryan too, for some reason.
Bradley is called to the Diary Room, and it’s a mad rush outside as the HMs prepare the party and their costumes. Brad is told to open the briefcase in the room, and takes out his Batman costume. He’s stoked. There’s a fury of balloon blowing and makeup and costuming, but Brad seems to be moving in slow motion. He’s revelling in it.
B-Rad, fully dressed and for some reason sounding like Christian Bale with a sore throat, leaves the Diary Room and is greeted by his fellow HMs all dressed up and ready to party. They’ve been given a camera to take pics as memories and we’ll all be sorely disappointed if someone doesn’t snag a dick shot as a surprise for the birthday boy.
Brad thanks them all for arranging the party. He was disappointed when he worked out he wouldn’t be with his family for his birthday, but now he’s with his ‘second family’. Cheers all round. As Estelle gets something from the fridge Brad corners her to tell her she’s now THE coolest girl he knows for her part in prepping the party.
Brad nicks into the Diary Room to thank BB when he’s given a pressie he has to go into the kitchen to open with his fellow HMs. He opens it and it’s a jar of coloured rice from home – a gift from a girl he met on a Catholic camp once. He recounts her as the first girl to ever show him some actual kindness. Aw, Bradley, stop it.
“Chicks’ll do that do you, man.” — Wisdom from Josh.
The cake is brought out to bat-cheers and Brad successfully touches the plate with the knife as he cuts it so he can kiss Estelle on the cheek. Ray holds court talking about seeing his Dad as a kid while his Dad wrapped him in painter’s dropcloths. Mmm, turpentiney goodness.
Charne (pronounced Shar-ney) has changed out of her party dress just as Brad starts quoting large slabs of The Dark Knight. A reasonable response. WHY SO SERIOUS?!
Layla & Stacey pop into the Diary Room to find out if they’ve been making BB “LOL”. The report is in the affirmative. The girls prattle on about something but BB tires of them and sends them on their way.
Charne (pronounced Shar-ney) pops up with a trumpet(!) and leads the HMs in a rousing rendition of “Happy Birthday”, copyright clearance pending. Other people are invited to blow the trumped Charne (pronounced Shar-ney) brought out. She returns the trumpet to BB and then proceeds to blow her own trumpet while noting the childish nature of the other HMs. “But that’s, you know, whatever…”
The night continues to roll on. Various HMs have hit the pool and the activities get weirder (“I’m gonna koala ya.”). Charne (pronounced Shar-ney) and Layla are casting aspersions on the ‘kids in the pool’.
Later in the evening and Ryan and Estelle are getting a bit up closer and personal than everyone was expecting. Josh is massaging Angie while Ryan seems to be sexually assaulting Estelle’s neck.
Brad has popped into the Diary Room to say thanks – again – to BB and for the effort put in by the HMs. He says he feels very close to everyone – there’s no expectation to be anything he’s not, which he appreciates. All the while Ryan is putting his best moves on Estelle and it’s paying big dividends.
“We’re all such good friends, we’re all so close – I don’t see anything happening while we’re in the house. There may be the odd hook up but I don’t see anything developing,” says Brad, while 6 HMs seem to have settled into bed together. Estelle and Ryan snuggle up once the lights go out and get their smooch on.
THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!!!
*** 6:30PM SECRETS REVEALED SHOW ***
We’re straight over to the house to hear BB announce to the HMs the task he set the girls regarding them having to match the secrets to the right boys. Tonight the girls will have to announce their match ups – if they get their matches right, only the boys can be nominated for eviction. If the girls mess it up, the boys are safe and only the girls can be nominated.
We’re out to Eviction Stadium and Sonia walks through a working BB Eye onto stage to address a noisy and packed crowd. She recaps everything we saw before the credits, and before we get into anything we score a Mike Goldman special 3 minute recap of the first week. Almost nullifies the daily show (also highlights how little has happened in the first week that it can be so easily condensed). Bradley features, as well he should. It’ll be he and Michael as the final two – pending upcoming revelations and intruders.
There’s also time for the birthday party highlights from tonight’s Daily Show. Estelle, you’re such a hussy. “No one tell Bradley, please,” says Stacey after Ryan reveals his level of class by sharing with all the HMs in the kitchen that he and Estelle hooked up.
Now another recap looking at the process the girls went through in the Parlour as they attempted to match the boys with the secrets. Some comments were quite insightful, as were the picks for the secrets. Some were WAY. OFF. Layla should never be allowed to guess anything as her read on people is appalling.
Off to the house, where the girls are sitting in the pool conversation pit, and the boys lined up on the stage. The girls have been BEEEEP given BEEEP 4 lives to use in making their matches (they joy of pseudo live tasks and a 6:30pm timeslot – censorship). Get a match wrong and they lose a life. Lose all 4 lives and they lose the task. Simple.
Layla is called first to match a boy with the “I have the IQ of a genius” secret. She picks Michael – BINGO! One from one. Just as well Layla had help. The girls celebrate like they’ve won a million dollars. Michael is excused to sit on the bench, and Sonia wonders if he came dressed as “Flash? Axl Rose? Something like that?”. Bless. Cut to Michael telling BB his secret is that he’s got an IQ of 136 but he’s no genius. While the number is impressive he doesn’t make MENSA so the genius claim is spurious. Michael admits it can take him 40 seconds to find the right holes. To put his shirt on. (Put those two sentences together however you like.)
Sonia throws back to the house to identify the boy with the “I have Ornithophobia as a result of an emu attack” secret. Cue footage of the girls pumping the boys for info over the past week, then back to Sonia, then back to the house. Predictable? Yes. Watchable? Eminently.
Sarah is called forward to guess the bird-phobia boy. Josh is called first – WRONG. That’s miss one for the girls. Josh sent back and Sara calls Ray next – WRONG. Two misses in one hit. Sarah has one more swing, this time calling Bradley forward – BINGO! Just as well as they couldn’t afford to dip out this early in the game. With only two lives left and five secrets still to match it’s more of a game again.
Cue Brad’s package talking with BB about his emu story. It sounds scary enough, but then he was 17 and he feared for his thumb. It’s an obstacle in his life that he has to avoid birds, but you know, what can you do? I wonder what odds Tom Waterhouse had on Brad as being the Ornithophobe?
Sonia jokes about having to say “Ornithiphobia” before throwing to a package of the girls trying to find out who has the “I have not had a girlfriend since I was 11” secret. Estelle is called up next and calls out Ryan – BINGO! Go figure, huh? He admits in his chat with BB that it’s because he’s been too focused on himself and, besides, why does he need a girlfriend when he’s got a mirror and his right hand? He’s been on a lot of first dates but no second dates. What a catch, ladies.
Back to the house for the boy who owns the “I was a juvenile offender” secret. Lots of speculation it was George. Stacey is called to identify the juvie boy, and she calls Ray – BINGO! They’re on fire now with two lives still to play and three boys left.
Sonia jokes about Ray needing a chocolate milk to get over it, then drops a “discombobulated”. KRUGER. GOLD. Ray shares he was in the wrong crowd as a kid and scared straight by Cops who threatened to stand over him moreso if he didn’t straighten up and fly right. He did, and here we have the mixed up muddle that is Ray.
We’re back, and Sonia throws to the “I have dated 100 women” secret hunt. There’s lots of speculation based entirely on looks. Ray. Josh. George. Zoe hopes it’s George and she wants to be 101 (as we saw earlier this week). Angie is called to pick out our lothario, and names George – WRONG. Only one life left now, so it’s somewhat of a panic in the girl’s camp. She now calls out Josh – BINGO! It’s a 50/50 finish. Josh shares that he’s just not settled with the right girl – it’s not that he’s picky or anything. Sonia notes that George thought it was hilarious that the girls thought he was the lover boy. Josh tries to name all of his dates at the prompting of BB, and the list is like a concerning list of names not to name your daughter.
I’m not sure that Ch9 are promoting the new Dallas, starting this Wednesday at 9pm. Perhaps more ads during Big Brother?
It’s down to the last guess, and Sonia continues to hold court in Eviction Stadium. The last two secrets are “I have been fired from every job I’ve had” and “I’m a multi-millionaire”, and there is speculation recaps a-plenty. Oooh, it’s crunch time we’re told, if we’d not been on any social media channels this week.
Zoe and Charne (pronounced Shar-ney) are called up to apply the secrets to George and Benjamin. Who matches which? The tension is driven all the way up to 1.
Charne (prnounced Shar-ney) is asked to identify the multi-millionare, and nominates Benjamin – WRONG! The boys erupt in celebration, and Benjamin is called back to reveal that he can’t keep a job, and George to reveal he’s a multi-millionaire. BB lays down the nomination rules (“Hi BB, it gets harder every week”) and ONLY girls can be nominated and therefore evicted. Sonia throws to Benjamin and George’s chats with BB.
Benjamin lists his litany of firings. George reveals how he’s a multi-millionaire – it’s all on paper as he owns six houses with the bank. He shares his story of why he got into property in the first place, and it’s to care for his Mum & sister. What a nice guy – not that any of the HMs have questioned him on it.
BB announces the tables are being turned. The Parlour is no more – all male HMs are called to the Man Cave. They rush in and prceed to whoop and holler at the layout in the room that was once the girl’s retreat. BB addresses the boys and lays out their task, including the stakes (get them right, no boys up for nomination; get them wrong, ONLY boys up for nomination). They are told the girl’s seven secrets:
I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
I am a champion weightlifter.
I am a high school drop out.
I was a nude protester.
I used to be an emo.
I was a hand model.
I am a member of a Royal Family.
UN. DER. WHELMING.
The boys are invited to discuss the secrets and Ray immediately jumps in as if he knows everything. Natch. BB advises that the girls do not know each other’s secrets. There’s lots of speculation and talking over each other – maybe this task breeds chaos and heart attacks for the sound guy.
Sonia recaps the last two minutes again, reminding us the boys have to match the ‘secwets’ to the girls. The benefit is the boys have had a week to get to know them, but they negative is the girls know something’s afoot. We’re reminded to tune in for nominations tomorrow night and the first Big Brother’s Boobies (Confidential) this Wednesday night. We return to the Man Cave for Benjamin talking a lot and Michael looking stunned as the music plays and sends us on our way for another Sunday.