Real Housewives of Melbourne – S02E07 recap (@RHOMelbourne)
Apr07

Real Housewives of Melbourne – S02E07 recap (@RHOMelbourne)

HURRAH! It’s trip week! The “surprise trip to somewhere glamorous” is my favourite episode of the season. Aside from the Reunion shows, obvs. But before they head off, Lydia is taking Jackie and Pettifleur shopping on the Paris end of Collins Street. Not gonna lie – I love that part of Melbourne. Brisbane think its Paris end is the lower part of the Queen Street Mall, but the Big W at that end says different. Jackie & Lydia want...

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Real Housewives of Melbourne – S02E06 recap (@RHOMelbourne)
Mar30

Real Housewives of Melbourne – S02E06 recap (@RHOMelbourne)

Right. Before we get into things (OMG so many things), I know that these recaps have been longer than War and Peace (funnier and with more swearing though), but there’s a crapload of material to deal with. However, in the interests of giving everyone their lives back, I’ll do my best to keep the wordage down. That said, I can’t be responsible for the mental, and I won’t compromise my writerly integrity by leaving gaping holes in an...

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Real Housewives of Melbourne – S02E05 recap (@RHOMelbourne)
Mar24

Real Housewives of Melbourne – S02E05 recap (@RHOMelbourne)

Gawd. Pettifleur is back. *pulls on patience pants*. I think one of the reasons she shits me so much is that she makes Janet & Lydia seem likeable. Annoying. We open with P shopping for a suit for her son Nathan. Is it just me or is it weird for a mother to say “he’s got a great body” and “you’ve got the cutest bum” about her son? Eww. I mean, I took my son shopping for clothes for his semi-formal last week, and if I’d said...

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Real Housewives of Melbourne – S02E04 recap (@RHOMelbourne)
Mar17

Real Housewives of Melbourne – S02E04 recap (@RHOMelbourne)

Heads up you guys, there will be dad-joke quality golf puns in this post. You’re welcome. Gina and Janet are meeting at “Niche on Bridge” (adds to itinerary for research visit to Melbourne). Two things – Gina should wear more watermelon and less lime. And Janet looks disarmingly good in a black pencil frock (with a pop of colour) and jacket. Apart from the earrings from Diva. Also it’s a shame the frock doesn’t cover the tramp stamp....

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Real Housewives of Melbourne – S02E03 recap (@RHOMelbourne)
Mar10

Real Housewives of Melbourne – S02E03 recap (@RHOMelbourne)

The Real Housewives of Melbs were back on the telly last night so let’s get straight into it. Chyka and Lydia are being all “ladies who lunch”, about which Lydia is inexplicably excited. Not as excited as I was though when I saw that the waiter’s shirt was deadset made out of the same hideous tartan as my high school uniform! However, if the cool waiter dude can’t make green & yellow tartan look good, imagine how spectacularly...

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Real Housewives of Melbourne – S02E02 recap (@RHOMelbourne)
Mar04

Real Housewives of Melbourne – S02E02 recap (@RHOMelbourne)

This week we learn that Pettifleur is even more shallow than we first thought, if that’s even possible. She’s planning to hit up her partner Frank for a new set of wheels for her 50th birthday – specifically a Bentley. She takes one for a test-drive and she’s all “where do I put my Chanel?” and “can I have mirrors on the floor so I can check out my landing strip?” Klarrsy. Also ewwww. She can see herself driving the Bentley in the...

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