Seriously, it looks like some kids have painted some pictures and you've stuck it up - and you call that scenery?!

Never before in my 37 long years have I been subjected to such high levels of cuteness. The smiling little faces. The dodgy costumes. The effervescent hope in the face of impending failure. The mixture of plasticised smiles and out of time dance moves. The 2010 Prep Christmas concert was mired in controversy.

The Angels choir quite clearly held the show together. Without it, the ensemble cast would have struggled through  a mish-mash of awkward choreography and poor stage-direction. If not for the enthusiastic singing by said massed Angels the accompanying CD soundtrack would have featured far too strongly, and would have resulted in the delivery of a tuneful rendition of such favourites as “Away in a Manager” and “Joy to the World”. Instead we were graced with a vocal throng that ebbed and flowed as words were remembered and forgotten, and tunes crucified as if prophecy for next year’s Easter pageant.

It's turn-step-sweep-ball change-pivot-step-turn, not turn-step-pivot-sweep-pivot-ball change-turn...

The Wise Men were pedestrian, at best. The Shepherds were lucky to have found their way to stage, let alone discovered the Christ-child in a manger in the back streets of Bethlehem. A nod must be offered to the sheep for their slack-jawed mirroring of the actual beasts in question – the vacant stares and general meadering on stage perfectly reflected the woolly dinners-to-be from the original tome. Those cast as leads Mary and Joseph couldn’t even hold a candle to the original performances, which is likely just as well as the less than convincing low-budget costuming looked highly flammable.

Across the board we were subjected to disappointment – simplistic sets, flourescent lighting, plastic stackable seating, no intermission or candy bar. Not one cast member dressed as Caesar or a member of the Roman Legion. No Innkeeper. Only the briefest of mentions of Bethlehem. AND NO HARD DOLL BABY JESUS! I mean seriously – a Christmas concert with Mary & Joseph and a ragdoll substitute! Outrageous! Kids these days – so soft…

But what else can you expect from 5 & 6 year olds? Nothing. It was simply brilliant, start to finish. I was the proudest dad there. Merry November Christmas, everyone…

2010 Prep Christmas Concert – DVD available from proud parents shortly.