HEL-LO RATINGS SEASON. How we’ve missed you, what with your shiny new programs and completely full competing schedules. You’re the reason we all invested in PVRs and IQs. So much stuff that’s good, so much stuff that’s adequate, so much stuff that… well… maybe shouldn’t have been stuffed into the schedule so quickly.

It’s become quite frenetic Sun/Mon/Tue/Wed with lots of shows competing for our interest. The ratings this week are going to be very interesting, and we don’t even have the proper Sunday night schedule in place yet. So excited.

CAN’T MISS

• Biggest Loser Australia: Families – Sun 6:30pm; Wed/Thu/Fri 7:30pm, Ch10
• Modern Family – Sun 7:30pm, Ch10
• Bondi Rescue – Sun 8pm, Ch10
• Hawaii Five-O – Sun 8:30pm, Ch10
• Glee – Mon 7:30pm, Ch10
• Underbelly Files: Tell Them Lucifer Was Here – Mon 8:30pm, Ch9
• Southland – Mon 11:40pm, GEM
• Raising Hope – Tue 7:30pm, Ch10
• Michelin Stars: The Perfection of Madness – Tue 8:30pm, ABC1
• The Office (US) – Tue 8:30pm/9pm, Eleven
• Top Gear – Tue 8:30pm, Ch9
• Californication – Tue 10:05pm, Eleven
• Adam Hills In Gordon St Tonight – Wed 8:30pm, ABC1
• Blue Bloods – Wed 8:30pm, Ch10
• Laid – Wed 9:30pm, ABC1
• Fringe – Wed 9:30pm, GO!
• Zumbo – Thu 7:30pm, SBS one
• Party Down – Thu 8:30pm, ABC2
• Chopper Rescue – Fri 8pm, ABC1
• Rugby League: Indigenous All Stars vs NRL All Stars – Sat 6:30pm, Ch9

BURIED TREASURE

• A Quiet Word with Carrie Fisher (rpt) – Sun 7pm, ABC2
• The Ball – Sun 7:30pm, ABC2
• Movie: I Am Sam – Mon 8:30pm, GEM
• Black Books (rpt) – Tue 8pm, ABC2
• Hoarders – Tue 8:30pm, GEM
• Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares Revisits – 10:30pm, Ch9
• Movie: Some Like It Hot – Wed 2:30pm, 7Two
• Bob’s Burgers – Wed 8:30pm, Eleven
• The Golden Girls – Thu 8:30pm, GEM
• Cops – Various days and always after 11:30pm, Ch10

SECRET TV PLEASURES

• NZ’s Next Top Model – Sun 7:30pm, Eleven
• 6pm with George Negus – Weeknights 6pm, Ch10
• The 7pm Project – Weeknights 7pm, Ch10
• $#*! My Dad Says – Mon 8pm, Ch9
• Undercover Boss (USA) – Mon 8:30pm, Ch10
• Q and A – Mon 8:35pm ABC News 24; 9:35pm ABC1
• Good Game – Tue 8:30pm, ABC2
• The Simpsons – Wed 8:30pm, Eleven
• V – Wed 8:30pm, GO!
• At The Movies – Wed 10pm, ABC1
• CSI – Thu 8:30pm, Ch9

AT YOUR OWN RISK

• Sunday Night – Sun 6:30pm, Ch7
• My Kitchen Rules – Mon/Tue/Wed 7:30pm, Ch7
• Dexter – Mon 9:30pm, Eleven
• Ben Elton: Live From Planet Earth – Tue 9:30pm, Ch9
• Mike and Molly – Wed 8pm, Ch9
• Farmer Wants A Root Wife – Wed 8:30pm, Ch9
• House – Wed 9:30pm, Ch10
• Bionic Vet – Thu 8pm, ABC1

LAST CHANCE(S)

• The Late Session – Tue 10:05pm, SBS1

DO. NOT. BOTHER.

• The Allan Border Medal – Mon 10:30pm, Ch9
• Cougar Town – Tue 10:30pm, Ch7
• Hellcats – Wed 7:30pm, GO!
• Deperate Housewives – Thu 9:30pm, Ch7
• Hot In Cleveland – Thu 9pm, GEM
• 30 Rock – Thu 11:30pm, Ch7
• The Cube – Sat 7:30pm, Ch9

PHEW! Really only space for notable mentions today: Underbelly Files really looks to be good; The Biggest Loser Australia: Families is beating My Kitchen Rules in the ratings, and with good reason – although wait until Conviction Kitchen is let loose – it will make them both pale for all the reasons we love reality TV; Top Gear UK is back, and it’s brilliant; Adam Hills In Gordon St Tonight and Laid have great expectation on them, and will again prove that the ABC know how to secure excellent variety/comedy talent; for all the reasons I love MasterChef I’m so looking forward to the start of Zumbo, following patissiere extraordinaire Adriano Zumbo – macarons, anyone?.

Some caution: Mike and Molly has the capacity to be good… I’m yet to devour the first two eps delivered to me this week. I think it has potential, but will Aussies laugh with fat people as much as they cry with fat people? Also Ben Elton: Live From Planet Earth enters our orbit, and despite all the crowing and buzz from those that saw him launch the show at the Ch9 showcase last year about how funny he was – a weekly live show can be tough. I hope it works, I really do.

You can expect next week’s LAST CHANCES category to have swelled significantly with shows that have underperformed on debut or in returning this week. Eyes open, all.

At least we can take heart that Channel 10 have listened and removed (for at least the moment) The Gadget Show, however they have replaced it with Bondi Vet. There will be some of you that will be quite pleased with that. Not half as much as I am that the Gadget Show is gone.

I’m interested to hear which ones you’ll tune in for, which ones you’ll sidestep, and which ones you’re already regretting – leave a comment below & share your thoughts will all of us!