The Block Sky High – Sun 6:30pm, Mon-Thu 7pm, Ch9
http://homes.ninemsn.com.au/theblock/
Noisegate continues and school camp suddenly got bitchy. In his classic psychoanalytic style, the Blockinator sums it up best: “From what I can see there are two groups – Levels 1 & 2, and then Level 3 and above.” You can’t pay for that sort of insight.

Now that we’re all caught up, Scotty suggests that “all that might now be behind us.” Not if he wants ratings it isn’t. It’s crazy noisy as it’s demo day and walls are falling down all around everyone. Twiin 1 takes solace by painting a bit of the exterior of their floor (no mention of fluffy anything, thank goodness) but she does have an environmental disaster.

Becs is shopping. The Twiins are selecting carpet, and Kim is struggling to make her decision so she heads up to Level 3 as Posh & Becs have the only sample of a certain type and Kim wants to see it to help her decide. Instead she’s met with Posh & Becs’s bitchy builder Tom who instructs George to not show her.

CARPETGATE erupts. Matt & Kim are unhappy, and Posh & Becs are pretty much unaware of the conflict their builder is causing. Expect this theme to run through tonight’s ep, especially as Kim goes to Keef to try to sort it out. Tom doesn’t care until Keef appears to tell him that he can’t be rude and everyone needs to play happy families. When Keef notices you’re in trouble. “He’s gonna see the Blockinator at his very best if he keeps this up,” promises Keef delivering his own soliloquy in the third person for I think the first time this series. He’s an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a khaki shirt.

The tension is building and Tom is pushing Keef’s buttons. “If anyone’s rude on the Block, it’s him,” says Tom. My goodness. You’d think they were after the state secrets of Greece or something (which you can currently get on eBay for $2.76 with three days remaining).

Matt & Kim HAVE to order their carpet and try one more time to get the sample by calling George. They need to see it so they can order their carpet. Posh’s Builder Tom is trying to be the Block rules Police but the direct approach pays off – they see the sample and order accordingly. SIMPLE.

Johnno’s sick and under orders to take it easy, so he opts to go shopping with Trixie to “try and relax”. After 15 minutes at the first store, he’s outside and gone and Trixie hasn’t even noticed. He could have pulled a Cliffy and run off to Sydney and she might not have missed him. He returns nearly an hour later and she’s not even noticed. NOT. EVEN. NOTICED.

Twiin 2 is off shopping for the fittings for their rooms this week and finding it pretty straight forward (and delivering it quite quickly). So much so she’s got time for a sneaky pedi. “I’m so busy,” she says on the phone to her sister. “I’ve barely got time sit down and let an underpaid Asian woman scrub and pamper my feet.”

Becs’ Mum is back in hospital getting chemo and that’s weighing heavily on her mind. To boot it’s Becs birthday tomorrow and Posh is in cahoots with Madi to try and arrange a to-do. But SHHH! it’s all secret.

Twiin 2 is off to see her husband and kid who’ve popped into Melbourne to visit. Twiin 1 has to finish painting the exterior and it’s full steam ahead to prep Becs’s birthday. It’ll be the inevitable hatchet-burying feelgood episode we’ve all been anticipating.

Too much has to be done before it’s tools down for party time but the Twiins reinforce there’s always time to put make up on. Priorities, people.

Even the birthday girl is out slaving away when SURPRISE everyone gets a voucher. Subtle.

Posh & Becs even find time to pop in to see their kitchen design and Becs’ just amazed at seeing a 3D composite of what their kitchen will look like. “It’s a little small, isn’t it?” she asks, but George sets her straight and explains that’s a model of what it will look like, not their actual kitchen.

Posh & Becs’ builder has put doors on their rooms again to keep prying eyes out, and even Keef agrees it’s a smart move. The lion lays down with a lamb.

Posh’s cunning plan is enacted and he and Becs head off for a massage and beauty treatment, allowing everything to get set up in the park across the road. To celebrate her birthday he’s ripped up all the grass in the park and arranged for concrete to be laid. So special. Dumping Bec Posh races back to set everything up – thankfully Madi is in hand to help arrange all the fun.

Insulation is so very important and the Blockinator is on the case. The Twiins’s builder has halved the thickness of their batts and Keef is on their case – they have to pull down the ceiling and start again. The girls are upset and the builder who did it has his nose out of joint too. If the ceiling doesn’t get fixed tonight the Twiins won’t deliver the room on time. Too many shortcuts now haunting them despite how poopy the builder responsible is. They hit the power tools noise limit time and decide they’ll come back tomorrow to fix it which is the last straw for the two schoolgirls living on Level 1 – they’re outta here. “We probably won’t be here for Becs’s party either,” one of them says as they leave. There’s even a hand over the camera and “By the way you’re not allowed to film my husband” from Twiin 2. Bitches be cray cray.

Becs has returned and preps for dinner with her man when he springs his trap – there’s a bunch of her friends and family, including her mum who’s popped out of hospital for a couple of hours, across the road for her surprise party. Becs is understandably overwhelmed and its at this moment we find out the true problem with surprise parties – the guest of honour inevitably ends up with makeup running everywhere and the reddest eyes ever while people try and take photos of them. SURPRISE!

A small plant has taken root on Becs’s head somehow in the time between walking across the road and getting to the park. Someone needs to issue a council warning or something.

Scotty makes a speech and everyone at the party is happy and everyone who isn’t at the party isn’t happy (looks everywhere for the Twiins and can’t see them). The important thing is everything is fixed with cupcakes. Even sick Mums.

But parties must come to an end, and the Twiins creep back to the Block late in the night. It’s been a tough day and they’ve not handled the pressure well at all. “I feel like it’s one step forward and three steps back all the time,” says Twiin 1 – which if true, means the Block is now something that’ll happen in their future and this has gotten very meta. Cue a morale-boosting visit from Matt & Kim (aka “Never mind the Pollocks”).

Madi’s brought home a secret stash of lollies from Becs’s party proving the old adage you can lead a horse to water but you can’t stop a kleptomaniac.