Big Brother Australia – Sun 6:30pm, Mon-Fri 7pm, Ch9
http://www.bigbrother.com.au/
“The closest vote ever” we’re told. Given it’s only the second week of BB on Ch9, is this much of a claim? It’s live and Mike’s voiceover was played early in the intro. Ahh, live show bugs.

Kruges looking HAWT. AS. while she sizzles the house being rocked to it’s very foundations. She shares the plan to “accidentally on purpose” reveal to the HMs the existence of another house. All fake, all so very good.

A spot audience poll suggests they think Ryan is going home over Benjamin or Bradley. Kruges clarifies it’s the closest vote in AU BB history (33%, 31%, 36%). Ahhh, the good old days when we want to remember them. Cue the dodgy “please vote for me to keep me in here” packages which really are horrible. Voting yada yada yada cue Daily Show wrap and week in recap.

Reviewing the “Yes/No” task we cop some of the highlights of the tasks, including the growing tension between Benjamin and Ray. Surly got Zoe to be crazy, Stacey got close to Ryan Gosling (in cardboard cut-out form), and Bradley got his first pash from a girl in Estelle – which Ryan was cool with until BB reminded him that BB didn’t stipulate who the kiss had to come from. Oo-er!

Estelle turned 24 in the house and so it’s rise and shine! There is a party planned, but cracks are appearing – Layla wants to smack Estelle in the head for being told she’s wrong. Sarah, never short of an opinion, races off to her favourite gay gossip repeater to bitch about Estelle too. Angie has a whinge over the target du jour right before Estelle lectures Benjamin about leaving the house.

The party will have a “street” (read: shit) theme and when the outfits are revealed Estelle goes nuts. There’s toasting at dinner and the birthday girl gets a bit happy teary, while Sarah-two-face gets up and says how happy she is that Estelle is having her birthday and how everyone loves her. Stupid Sarah-two-face.

After dinner there’s a “rap dance battle” for the HMs to take part in and entertain each other, and in the first pairing Ray is dance-aggressive towards Sarah-two-face who has a cry about it afterwards. Talk about a downer. Ray apologises when he realises that Sarah-two-face has gotten really quite upset about it, and she takes some time to settle down and understand he’s saying sorry.

Did you know Ch9’s new drama House Husbands is premiering tonight? I wonder if the HMs will know about it?

Kruges is back to sizzle the “big twist” we’ll see later tonight that will “change everything”. But more Daily Show first, and Sarah-two-face is still upset. ERHMAGERD. Of course her usual posse of shoulders surround her in the bedroom/bathroom to hear her out. The remainder of the party analyse it pretty simply, thanks to Michael: “You went first and the girls had set a boundary we didn’t know about and we all probably would have crossed it.”

Estelle is selfish for a second saying “everything’s stopped – that sucks”. Ray again goes to apologise to Sarah-two-face but is held off at the pass by Stacey and Benjamin. It’s agreed they’ll talk in the morning and the party should continue for Estelle’s sake.

The next day Ray & Bradley have come to apologise to Sarah-two-face. “I’ve seen hip-hop films and I’ve never seen anything like that. I felt degraded and threatened.” It’s all explained and a group hug seals the deal. All the while Ryan is entertaining the HMs by playing a form of charades where they set a situation and he mimes it out. OH, TEH LOLZ. Ryan’s very fire safe.

Angie & Benjamin are dissecting the night before, with Angie moaning about Estelle saying she was being selfish about being bummed over the party stopping due to conflict. Fancy Benjamin being in the middle of something gossipy?!

Sarah-two-face is now confronting Estelle over the “fallout from last night’s party”. Facepalm. Estelle wants to sort it out and is pressing Sarah-two-face who doesn’t want to talk about it with her yet. “Estelle, when you speak to me sometimes, you don’t acknowledge what I say or let me finish what I say. There were some words said last night that didn’t validate my feelings BLAH BLAH BLAH.” How do you respond and one-up that? Cue Estelle tearing up telling Sarah-two-face she’s honest to people’s faces and doesn’t gossip behind their backs.

Estelle feels people are twisting her words & teasing her. Sarah-two-face still believes that Estelle is a fabulous person and when Estelle starts to interrupt Sarah-two-face she then gets the lecture about letting people finish their sentences again. If only she’d shut up in the first place she wouldn’t have got it in the first place. SHEESH!

With tomorrow (House time) being Father’s Day, BB has a treat for the HMs – a special screening of Ch9’s new drama, House Husbands. NO WAY IT’S LIKE THEY DIDN’T EVEN PLAN IT OR whatever. Starved of moving pictures, the HMs settle in and enjoy.

After the treat, some HMs (unsure if it’s been cued by BB) head to the Diary Room to send special messages to their Dad for Father’s Day. Layla somehow manages to stuff up her message to her Dad. NO WAY, I hear you say. YES WAY, I respond.

As the HMs settle in for the night, it’s the rest of the house in the bedroom vs Sarah-two-face & her posse in the lounge room discussing the chat the two girls at the centre of the mess had earlier in the day. Bradley is working it through with Estelle and offers some sensible thoughts. But that’s enough for now – it’s time for an ad break and then an eviction… after we learn that the winner of BB2012 gets $250,000 (we already knew) AND a small-mid-sized car from show sponsor. Hardly seems worth it.

We’re back, and it’s all serious now. Quick recap on Ryan, Benjamin & Bradley’s individual weeks given one of them is about to get the arse. “I guess the fact that my peers have nominated me, I feel like these people don’t find me very likeable.” It’s not rocket science, Benjamin. Estelle is a big Bradley supporter.

Crossing to the house and the HMs again go nuts at seeing Kruges. She almost instantly reveals that Bradley received the most votes and so is definitely staying in the house this week. Very worried look from Benjamin while congrats all round. S-Kruge sizzles she’ll reveal who goes home AFTER the break. Ooh, just like a professional.

We’re back, and after a big beep to welcome Kruges back, and we’re reminded this was the closest three way vote in the history of Australian Big Brother. It’s time to go… RYAN.

Kisses, hugs, “we’re gonna miss you”, etc and the HMs walk Ryan to the gate as BB counts the 10 seconds down. The door opens and Ryan walks out – and then he instantly walks onto stage. Hel-lo pre-recorded “live” show.

The voting is revealed to Ryan, and we see he scored 32%, Benjamin on 32% and Bradley on 35%. “Are you alright?” asks Kruges. For goodness sake, woman, he’s been in the house for three weeks. Talk quickly turns to Estelle and Kruges over-states the love story as their own “Shane Warne-Liz Hurley” style debacle. Ryan gives Estelle a ten out of ten. Cue package of Ryan and Estelle’s blossoming love story, entirely sanitised for the timeslot.

At least they kept the Bradley kiss and Ryan’s reaction in.

Ryan has no words that make sense when Kruges asks him about the relationship with Estelle again. “Three cheers for the bride and groom,” she offers. Wow, way to add to Australia’s skyrocketing divorce rate. Then the talk becomes about the ‘love triangle’ including Bradley.

Sonia accuses Ryan of being “a bit of a thinker” – cue package of some pearls of Ryan-isms. Ryan’s reaction to Michael saying that he’s “just stupid, ridiculously stupid” is PRICELESS. He then attempts to belittle Michael by talking about his tatts and that he forgets to brush his teeth like they’re pre-reqs for MENSA.

“Do you think it was fair the way the other HMs treated you?” asks Kruges. Ryan though Michael was an actor, and thought the other HMs would be intimidated by him. Until he opened his mouth, at least. He’s then told that he will “have the power to affect nominations tomorrow night” and that we all must stay tuned in. How can we leave this now?!

After we get through the mandatory KFC sponsor “three favourite moments” – and they’re not that special – we learn how Ryan has influence over the nominations tomorrow. He gets the ‘nominations super power’ and gives it to Estelle, but we won’t know what it means until tomorrow. Knock me down with a feather.

Ryan has lived a lifetime in three weeks if your definition of a lifetime is three weeks long, and we get to see the highlights of it in his “time in the house” package. There’s lots of goofy smiling, Estelle kissing, high fiving and goofy smiling. Big smiles and Ryan’s gone.

Now it’s time for Kruge’s intentional mistake – off to cross to the House and ‘accidentally’ reveal the existence of a separate parallel house. But first we make sure Estelle is OK. Yes, she’s OK. Bradley & Benjamin are surprised they’re still in the house – well, Benjamin is because he was the one that talked.

After a reminder that they need proper reasons for nominations tomorrow night, Kruges signs off from the House and the feed kept open when Sonia says this (and the HMs get to see/hear it): “So – House #1 is reeling from losing Ryan and House #2 is reeling from losing Sam. We’ve heard House #1’s thoughts, so let’s hear from the guys in House #2…”. Ray is losing his shit, and there’s jaws on the floor all over the place.

The feed dies and the HMs are going crazy. Layla *INSISTS* it was a joke because “they were all laughing”, which proves it was done live in the context of the crowd being there and the audio picked up the crowd laughing at the
HMs responses. None of the other HMs believe her, but BB will have to patch this up with them to give the charade momentum. Big fist pump from Kruges. It’s a great twist, and it’ll be game on for tomorrow night (but not before another plug for House Husbands, brought to you by KFC & Holden).

Before I sign off, some ponderments – given the promo claiming this is the biggest twist in the show this year, have they peaked too early? How long will the dual house charade play out? Do they have bigger twists a-coming, and if so, what? Curiouser and curiouser…