1. Nervous Nellies Abound.

As Nine go large with two big premieres this week – Underbelly: Squizzy and Big Brother – Seven are conspicuously absent with their much promoted new programming that’s still waiting in the wings (No, Please Marry My Boy doesn’t count as it’s essentially drivel). Such has become the battle between the formerly-number-one-now-nearly-number-one-again Nine and number-one-but-now-sliding-and-no-idea-how-to-stop-it Seven that both are alternating weeks to deliver their new shows and where possible trying not to burn episodes of usual or expected ratings winners against new/event programming.

Ten meanwhile are throwing everything they have at the screen almost as fast as they can get it through the promos department, which they need to do so they can capitalise on the few small near wins they’re starting to have. That said the newly rebranded blue and silver set suffer from similar paranoia to their more successful counterparts… in fact moreso, with their scheduling and PR departments now pushing anyone with an opinion that’s off story to their grand new plan to the outer – removing access for interviews and restricting access to hig

2. Game Of Thrones In Memoriam.

Made for San Diego Comic-Con and to promote Season 4 coming in 2014, it’s the best damn In Memoriam piece you’ll see all year…


Now that we know Ten’s Breakfast 2.0 is called Wake Up with Natarsha Belling, Natasha Exelby & James Mathison, with Nuala Hafner reading news from Melbourne and Maude Garrett as the LA correspondent, all we need is a launch date. Which is coming.

Just as the new Mornings program is – we already know it will be hosted by Joe Hildebrand and Ita Buttrose, but now we know will be called Studio 10 – Congratulations Darren Sanders for suggesting the winning name.

Lots of excitement around these two programs, and they represent some serious additions to their schedule to come even still in 2013. It can’t be a bad thing that they’re is a real sense of excitement around these new shows, right? RIGHT?

4. It’s a Date!

We all experience love in different ways yet it still binds us all together in the weirdest and best ways. The long-awaited 8 part series from Peter Helliar looks at how we manage those early stages of love and what happens when they get awkward. Comedy. GOLD:

5. Rudd calls Election.

This is what happens when you let funny people write press releases:


Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has moved decisively to end speculation about the date of the next federal election.

“The Australian people deserve certainty about who scrutinises and satirises the contest to become Prime Minister,” said Mr Rudd, taking time out from Twitter to confront the issue. “When I heard that the lack of a definitive election date was making it difficult for ABC1 to schedule the return of election specials Gruen Nation and The Hamster Decides by the Chaser, I asked the Governor General to set an election date immediately, and one that suits the national broadcaster.”

“The election will now be held on Saturday, September 14, 2013. We can now ensure that Gruen Nation and The Hamster Decides are able to do four pre-election specials each, a double act starting on Wednesday, August 21 at 8.30pm.”

“When the election is over, The Hamster Decides will contribute a post-vote wrap-up, mostly to cover the next Labor leadership spill. Gruen Nation will continue its tragic identity crisis and become Gruen Planet for the following eight weeks.”

Gruen Nation host Wil Anderson welcomed the Prime Minister’s move. “Not knowing the election date was very inconvenient for us,” he admitted. “And after all we’ve done for this government, I was a bit surprised they didn’t sort it out a little faster.”

Anderson dismissed speculation that the election might not be held on September 14, a date chosen by Mr Rudd’s predecessor: “I can’t imagine Prime Minister Rudd would want to compromise Julia Gillard’s legacy by doing something like that. He’s always struck me as the kind of man who lets the past stay in the past.”

Executive Producer of The Hamster Decides, Julian Morrow, confirmed both programs will proceed if the election happens earlier. “If there’s an early election,” he explained, “we’ll just reduce the quality of our shows.”

The new Director of ABC Television, Richard Finlayson, said, “There’s no f#*king way I’m letting them use my name in a fake quote.”

“That’s fine, they can use mine,” said ABC Managing Director, Mark Scott.