When the Ten network canceled all interviews scheduled for the day after their big reality show The Bachelor Australia, we all knew something was up. Rumours were rife: someone other than the winner was pregnant; Bachelor Blake had become involved with a producer rather than one of the girls on the show; the Bach had hooked up with the girl who came second. Crazy right?

The finale happened, the proposal was reasonably romantic (if you take out the fact he just proposed to marry a woman he barely knew after he filtered her out from a group of 30 he’d also been dating at the same time), and ratings soared (Ten’s best night in months) off the back of WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING WHY CAN’T WE SHARE IN THEIR LOVE?!

A bland release from Ten was delivered by lunchtime the following day:

Network Ten can confirm that Blake and Sam have sadly ended their engagement. When Blake proposed to Sam in South Africa, he did so because he had genuinely fallen in love with her. He was excited to start a life with Sam and was very much looking forward to their future together.

Unfortunately, not all relationships are meant to be, and feelings invariably change. Once Blake returned to his everyday life, he realised that they both wanted different things from a relationship and had different priorities. Blake has the greatest love and respect for Sam, but has made the difficult decision to end the relationship.

WHA?! LOVE ON CONFECTED/OVER-PRODUCED TELEVISION ISN’T REAL?!

The media were feeding off this – what does Sam have to say? (a few tweets and Instagram posts were dissected down to the last character.) Other than the statement what does “the Love Rat” have to say? In one of the smartest moves yet exclusive interviews with both Sam and Blake were prepared for Ten’s The Project the following Monday. It’s nine minutes of revelling in pain and abject awkwardness (certainly not Sam’s)…

“Poor Blake and his broken little heart,” said no one ever. What a dirty street pie.

There is literally no way he can come out of this looking good. That’s not to say Sam is golden – it’s completely understood the hurt she must feel in being proposed to in such a public fashion with so many people invested in their relationship to then (allegedly) not even spend a moment with him post that glorious South African afternoon, only to be told that their relationship was over the night before the big reveal on TV five weeks later.

Bottom line: 2013’s winner Tim & his love Anna still being together? It can happen but it’s like capturing lightning in a bottle – it’ll never be emulated. Did we really think Blake & Sam were gonna get married? Probably, but the disturbing underbelly of reality TV reveals so much more going on who knows what we can trust any more. Next you’ll be saying host Osher Gunsberg’s hair isn’t real or something (I’ve seen it – it’s very, very real and it’s as very, very beautiful as he is).

If you wanna really have a say in the third series, you can nominate a friend (or yourself) to be on The Bachelor Australia 2015 by starting here. My recommendation: nominate Ash Williams. He’d be perfect.