The Block Sky High – Sun 6:30pm, Mon-Thu 7pm, Ch9
Birthdays are always fun, but there’s nothing funny about cancer. Poor Becs’ mum.
The residents of Park St are waking to a new day, overrun by Sesame Street characters. Elmo is having a threesome with Matt & Kim, the slut. Is it that we all think he’s ticklish when really he’s orgasmically addicted? There’s lots to get done today to finish off the big stuff and there’s some underlying tension between the Blockheads on Level 1 and Level 3. Probably about who got to let Elmo do what to whom.
Twiin 2 is due to celebrate her 5th wedding anniversary with her husband but has to work on the Block. He’s sent her a care package which Twiin 1 pillages as soon as it’s opened and her sister is fully vulnerable. At least due to their connection if one gets drunk the other benefits too.
Tom, the builder on Level 3, is pointing out what needs to be done but the plasterer hasn’t shown up and now Becs is really stressed. Like, so stressed that her roots are showing. On Level 1 the Twiins are getting a plastering lesson from their Builder Shiran. Keef’s impressed, but that’s as close as he can get to smiling without it looking like sexual harassment.
Kim’s explaining what husband Matt is going to do to one of the walls in their master bedroom and has got pretty much all of it right. “If we get it right, it’ll look fabulous,” says Kim. “If we get it wrong, Kim did it,” says Matt.
In the middle of Week 3 and the shine has sure gone off all the “glama” of the Block. Tom the builder from Level 3 is still talking and nobody is still listening. At least Level 3’s plasterer has arrived so Tom can boss him around.
Keef is now also filling the role of quality control for the Block and he’s concerned with the work happening on Level 3. Not just the plastering but the building as well. It’s got right up Gino’s nose, who offers to ensure a horse’s head gets delivered to Keef’s place tonight.
Matt’s heard a rumour that Tom’s near a permanent fixture on Level 3 for not a whole bunch a week. Posh acknowledges they’re in a bit better position than the other teams as they’ve won $17K already, but Matt offers that it’s not a big deal unless it makes a difference at the end of the series. Or if someone “accidentally” pushes Tom down the empty lift shaft soon. Potayto, potahto.
Shelley’s arrived for her and Scott’s weekly interrogation of the Blockheads mid-build. On Level 5 there’s concern over how much the bed cost and how much Johnoo & Trixie need to win to ease their budget pains. At least Johnno had a say in the artwork. There is an important lesson in “women be shopping” too – if they say $100, they spent $200. “Are you gonna finish?” asks Scotty. “Of course we’re gonna finish,” says Trixie, before giving Johnno a knowing wink. Winged monkeys are released from their windows and take flight over the Melbourne skyline.
48 hours to go and everyone’s cruising to the finish. Yes, cruising = frenetic panicking. On Level 4 Madi & Jarrod are yet to channel anything close to a win. Scotty asks why there’s doors on the walk in robe. “To hide the bodies, Scotty,” says Jarrod smiling. We flash into the future to see what the Block will do to the pretty ones on Level 4 just to remind us that everyone is going to be broken.
Down on Level 1 the producers can’t let go of the Pollock room. Matt & Kim know they need to win to help them afford to even continue on the Block. They’ve gone earthy for this room so there’s a dirt floor, clay walls and a thatched ceiling (it’s all they could afford). Shelley reminds them they’ve so much to do and all Scotty can say is “You finally got to use your trade, mate” to Matt. The condescension is thick in the air.
The Twiins have decided to put a bath on a step down the end of the walk in robe and it has the potential to be amazing. The girls are clearly struggling under the weight of no sex. “Four weeks and you girls are desperados,” says Scotty. Shelley offers to round up some tradies to help solve the problem. It’s desperate times indeed on Level 1. They don’t even seem to be able to master their own domains.
Posh & Becs have had a horrible call – Becs’ mum has taken a turn for the worse so they’ve downed tools and headed straight off to the hospital. Completely understandably.
The teams have been called together and are briefed on the Posh & Becs situation. It sounds dire, and everyone acknowledges they’ll chip in to help the Level 3 couple in any way they can. The Block, however, waits for no person.
Scotty and Shelley reveal to the contestants what the exterior of the Block will look like when it goes to auction. It looks like a green & black licorice allsort (and it’s gonna be amazing). The Twiins get it: “You can’t sell apartments that look amazing on the outside and rubbish on the inside.” Unless you’re the Twiins, I guess.
Matt & Kim have two chances to open security boxes and labour over which ones they want to open – 9 & 40 win for them but prove to be somewhat disappointing for the couple, delivering some stamps (“Stamps are the worst”) and toy masks (“Toy masks are the worst”). “Never mind Matt & Kim, you get to be losers for a little while longer,” offers Scotty.
Every minute counts, so naturally the Twiins’ plasterer has vanished and now Twiin 1 is on the beg for another plasterer. They beg Matt & Kim’s guy to help them, but all the money in the world can’t sway him. He’s obviously not a real tradie. Or an actor, for that matter.
There’s lots of concern for the still missing Posh & Becs. It’s clear that Becs’ mum isn’t long for this world and all the Blockheads are rallying around them. Posh’s mum went through a similar thing so it’s close to his heart and it’s all very sad, but he’s come back to work on their place to allow his wife to be with her mum for her last days who really wants them to be on the Block and succeed. “I’m not gonna let her down, I’m gonna do the best I can,” offers Posh.
The plaster eventually arrived to complete the work for the girls on Level 1 and has worked through the night to do the job. He’s just not sure what job he’s doing. Posh is juggling three trades at once and they all want to do something on his floor… everything’s become “negotiable”.
The arrival of Madi & Jarrod’s island drawer unit is a non-event. Up the lift, inside it goes. PHEW or something.
Inspired by the vertical gardens on the exterior M&K want to have the same on their balcony so they’ve headed off to meet the team who are doing it. If only they knew how to use a GPS. Or a phone. Or a UBD. Or how to ask someone.
Trixie is trying to source a mirror. That is all.
Matt & Kim work out how to get to the vertical gardens place and are reportedly “very impressed”. That doesn’t mean they’re convinced.
Twiin 1 is shopping; Twiin 2 is deciding yes/no on the glass screen that will separate their bath from the robe. She can’t even get her memes right – how can she be expected to get a glass screen right? She decrees it shall be so, after Alan (whoever he is) tells her it’s right. Feminism is dead.
Matt & Kim’s builder delivers and installs the bed he’s built for them. Matt decides to wear the mask. Hilarity ensues.
There’s shockers all round for Johnno letting Trixie shop unabated, but we all remember how the last shopping exercise went that he attended… right, ladies? Right.
Madi’s feeling unappreciated. She feels Jarrod isn’t understanding all her comings and goings and food gathering abilities. Meanwhile Matt was going to use the expensive doona that was in J&T’s challenge room as a drop sheet, but then Johnno heard about it. “ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” offers the man so relaxed sloths look to him aspirationally.
It’s just another week on the Block, kids.