The Block Sky High – Sun 6:30pm, Mon-Thu 7pm, Ch9
http://homes.ninemsn.com.au/theblock/
It’s all been building to this… the first room reveal and a chance for the teams to find out exactly what the judges thing of their intentions with their apartments. This is going to be awesomely brutal.
Another day, another dollar poorly spent on the Block and with 24 hours left to deliver there’s dollars all over the floor like a cheap stripper’s dressing room. The Twiins are only now just catching up that working on the Block is brutal and everyone’s feeling it. Trixie’s got a blister, Twiin 2 has an ulcer, and Becs refuses to get out of bed.
Matt & Kim are committed to their Jackson Pollock room. Keef asks if there’s stencils. Oh, bless. Posh & Becs are taking educated guesses which, as they’ve proven already, is a VERY. BAD. IDEA. Becs has been stalking both HRH Queen Shaynna & Herr Neale so she figures she’s worked out their styles and therefore copying will mean guaranteed win.
Johnno & Trixie have declared today is decorating day. Lots of MDF, glue and feathers. It’s a regular gay mardi gras in there. Jarrod & Madi have decided slow & steady wins more time on the internet – so it’s “creative time” for her while he finishes paining. “The tiler’s tiling, the plumber’s plumbing, the wife be doing whatever she bloody wants so back off biatches,” says Madi.
While Posh & Becs step out to collect their bedhead their tradies notice a small detail that may have escaped the couple on Level 3 – installing the toilet where they planned will not allow the bathroom door to open or close. I guess they’re gonna be a pretty open family.
When Posh & Becs return they soon learn their tradies have no idea how to use a phone as they report Toilet-gate. Amazingly when someone does work how to use a phone they discover a suitable replacement toilet that the apprentice is sent to fetch. Technology is not Level 3’s friend.
Meanwhile the Twiins are working with their tradies to solve the cupoboard sizing issues. If it’s not one thing it’s another. Or another. Or all the things. They manage to solve the dilemma with power tools before the curfew is enacted, proving that nobody wanting additional entries into the Hunger Games are indeed a motivating factor in every situation.
The toilet returns and Posh offers to fix it himself because that’s the kind of guy he is. So… maybe he should have solved it in the first place?
It’s all go in preparation for the painting down on Level 2 and Matt & Kim get their art on, though early conflict pushes Kim to declare “Pollocks” on the whole thing. Oh Mr Hart, what a mess!
The delirious painting bug seems to have caught everyone on the Block. It is late at night so you have to expect some kind of crazy. Madi’s found time to make signs to tell us what time it is yet no painting. Confident little suckers, aren’t they.
With the first morning of delivery upon them there’s stress up the wazoo though some teams handle it better than others. Pillows thrown, decisions made, cupboards dressed, Scotty still riding that bike. Just like any normal morning on the Block.
Scotty’s whistle blows and it’s tools down. Time to assemble on the roof and let the judges loose…
Walking up the internal stairs we kick off with Johnno & Trixie on Level 5 – the Penthouse. J&T think it’s very high-end but not sophisticated. The judges breathe a sigh of relief as they enter – only because Darren’s got new glasses. Herr Neale likes the tiles while Her Majesty Queen Shaynna doesn’t like the small planter features stuck to it. There’s lots of features and textures and ticks for all the judges. Darren likes the height raised doors too because it makes everything look bigger, especially with your pants off. HRH declares the tap to be quite the tap though Darren is concerned there’s no door on the ensuite, and Herr Neale puts his grandpa pants on too and agrees. Mr Belle agrees there’s no following notes from the print into the ensuite which is an opportunity lost.
Down a level we get to see Jarrod & Madi’s place on Level 4 – the sub-Penthouse. The industrial feel is noted by the judges and then they fall mute. Mark it in the diary, Blockheads… it only took the second room to do so. Execution is good though it’s all same same but same. “By auction time this could look very, very dated,” offers Neale. Their ensuite is declared to be a success by comparison.
On Level 3 it’s Posh & Becs turn to reveal their place – the awkward middle-house. Becs naturally thinks it’s entirely sophisticated (one would hope so as they didn’t do a whole lot of work on it themselves). Neale’s drawn in by the poster (so that worked) and the black & white stripe feature wall works really well with notes all over the room but not too many. The execution in the bathroom isn’t as good as the bedroom but again His Herr-ness likes the tiles. “They’re just the kind of thing you would hope your guests will enjoy spending a night on after a big night socialising with you,” he muses.
It is time. Time to reveal what Matt & Kim have been sitting on all week with their Jackson Pollock-inspired guest room on Level 2 – the Invent-house. But wait – what?! We’ll come back to this one because… well… you just have to be prepared.
The Twiins on Level 1 are as ready as they’ll ever be so let’s pop down and have a look at – the dog house. Everything hangs around the chair at the end of the bed “And we hope it screams class,” says Twiin 1. “Nothing gels,” says Herr Neale and all three judges agree the chair is too big yet the mirror is too small. “There are eleven cushions when you should have no more than five,” offers Darren, just before he gets punched in the face by Queen Shaynna of the Block, the Princess of the Throw Pillow. At least the Twiins ensuite draws praise, particularly for the location of the extraction fan in the shower. We should all know by now when it comes to judgement it’s all about the little things for these three.
And NOW it’s time to see Matt & Kim’s masterpiece. “They may hate it; they may love it,” muses Kim. “Whoa!” is the overall response just before dropping to the ad break. You get the feeling we know what the judges think with just that exclamation.
This is the best disclaimer yet seen on any season of the Block: “WARNING – Some viewers may find the following design disturbing. Artistic guidance is highly recommended.” I think it looks AMAZING, though the judges… not so much. “A statement,” confirms HRH. “This is my worst nightmare,” offers Herr Neale. Darren has nothing to say because he’s lying on the floor suffering an epileptic seizure. It’s declared to be a cross between a psychiatric ward and a crime scene. “If they’d just done one wall it would have been great but this is just a splash too far,” declares His Nudeheadedness. “I can only imagine what they’ve done in the shower – it’s going to be Psycho, right?” The ensuite function is good and it’s quite well completed but there’s no connection with the bedroom. It does offer some solace from that which is quite confronting though. A place of quiet to poo.
The five teams gather for judgement and get to see the blackboard turning machine for the first time. But before even that Scotty announces another challenge and all 10 contestants fall in a heap muttering “too soon”. It’s all a charade – the contestants have to deliver a building collectively with an eight-star energy rating. Presumably this means they need to invent their own sun or install a nuclear reactor in the basement. I guess we’ll find out in coming weeks.
Who cares about that – feedback time.
A&L: Ensuite was stylish, sophisticated and sexy. Everything in there was great – the benchmark has been set for all the bathrooms on the Block. BUT the bedroom design didn’t deliver. Sense of scale and style needs work, and 11 pillows is too many.
K&M: The room functions well and execution was outstanding, though it is the single most controversial room on the show. All three commend the couple on their bravery. Bedrooms should be restful and it didn’t feel restful. The judges concern is that the room will polarise potential buyers. Great relief the bathroom different to the bedroom.
B&G: The bedroom made quite the impact – pretty much a perfect room. Ensuite choices also very, very good but there are some issues to be resolved here. The Melbourne references we a great touch.
M&J: The bathroom is stylish and sophisticated. Colour palette in the bedroom is great (love the rug) BUT the couple will need to show more maturity with their style.
T&J: A great combo room but divided on no ensuite door. All loved the tiled door and the raised door heights. The judges was Trixie to be classy, not crafty and she needs to learn how to step back and edit the room more.
Comments aside, it is all about the scores as to who wins the first $10,000 (Darren | Shaynna | Neale):
J&T: 7.5 | 7 | 7 = 21.5
M&J: 7 | 6.5 | 6.5 = 20
G&B: 7.5 | 7 | 7.5 = 22
M&K: 7 | 4 | 4 = 15
A&L: 7 | 7 | 6 = 20
Congratulations to Posh & Becs on not only their win but the first weekly win on The Block Sky High.
While there’s celebration in the Posh & Becs camp they may have misinterpreted what the money is for – it’s not for you guys, guys, it’s for your renovation. Trixie tears up because coming second by half a point reminds her of her kids and… well… it’s all downhill from there.
For no declared reason there’s no Chump award this season, which Matt is philosophical about: “Coming last is like wearing an imaginary Chump jacket anyway, and I’d just gotten mine sized too.” Posh reckons there should be a Chump jacket because the only thing worse than a bad loser is a smug winner. You’ll get yours, Yanni.
Two more rooms to deliver next week – a double ensuite week (one for him, one for her) and immediately ostracising the wealthy gay DINK market. Perhaps someone will show vision and make both gender neutral? Or break down the walls between the genders and offer a luxurious oversized single bathroom. Do I have to go outside the Block box for everyone?!