The Block All StarsSun-Fri 7pm, Ch9
Exciting times, people. Exciting, confusing times. With people working all night it’s a surprise people aren’t painting their rooms the wrong colour. Oh, wait…

We’re greeted with furious progress as there’s a room, a hallway and a cupboard (does that count as a room?). Mark & Duncan have had a week full of crap, and Dan has even managed to get upset at Keef. He wants to start fresh while Dani just wants to keep crying.

At least M&D won the Suzuki car painting challenge so that $2,000 helps out a bit – but everyone wants the $10,000 (if only to stem the tide of hired goons turning up at all hours – you gotta pay the bills somehow).

Josh & Jenna have embraced the zen of renovating: really simple when you are days ahead of the other teams. Blah blah blah. But look – Dan(i) are disagreeing again. Dan shows off his room but Dani doesn’t have the dead space to be happy about it.

M&D’s FHC (Fucking Huge Cupboard) will be a feature in the room, so it’s all exciting getting the $20,000 unit into the place. Brad the Builder loves it. LOVES it. Mark loves his shamwow, and it fits perfectly into the space they’re fitting it in. Don’t start them on the key, or how beautiful it is.

P&A are pushing on with Brad the Builder’s mezzanine idea which they think will be really funky. Cue the Blockinator to complicate everything – no beams & joists. They’ll happily push on with it because they want the edge. Surely Keef can make that hard too?

The pressure’s clearly getting to the Blockheads.

Dan(i)’s sofa arrives and – fancy that – Dan doesn’t like it and this only raises the stress levels there. Fight brewing. Jenna’s inability to sweep quick enough is highlighted by Josh standing watching her.

Further budget compromises made for Dan(i) to get heir fave artist in town with a piece for the room, but somehow the art & artist take separate flights (thanks Tiger). When it arrives, Dani’s relieved & Dan’s calmed down about everything (though still not sold on the sofa). It’s gotta be costing a packet to fly the artist up, surely?

So much still to be done with the final night pending. Amity doesn’t like Phil calling her “Amity” leaving poor Phil silenced. ZenJen is “exhausted”, even though they’re miles ahead of the others. Dan’s not planning to sleep because he has to paint the man cave.

Updates throughout the night show everyone is putting in the hard and very late into the night yards. The morning breaks on the Blockheads like a precious lampshade smashing on your freshly polished floor… and they’re all hurting with only a few hours until reveal.

The 15 minutes sleep that Dan’s had has meant he can no longer speak anything close to English – it’s more of a mumble. P&A had a glorious two hours last night, but that’s 6 hours over three days for Phil. M&D painted for 26 hours straight, because, you know, that’s how those guys roll.

With the minutes scraping towards finish, Dan(i) still find things to argue about. Clean, don’t clean, wax on, wax off. Who’s doing what job. MY ARE THEY ALWAYS FIGHTING?! Perhaps they need to mainline some Swisse mood? “Do you have Tourette’s or something?” asks Dani. “I have Tourette’s being with you,” says Dan. Well that’s not very understanding of them, is it?

“WHERE’S THE EFFING LADDER?” shouts Dani. Nobody responds, mainly out of fear.

Pictures hung, final sweeps and irons complete and it looks like everything’s coming together nicely. Cue Scotty to whistle them all out the front. High fives all round, and cue the judges: Neal Whittaker, HRH Shaynna Blaze, & Darren “IceMan” Palmer.

Starting in P&A’s hallway, Neale notes it’s got some wow factor and the lightshade sets it off. Queen Shaynna loves the buttery colour. The storage is deemed acceptable but no attic access is a missed opportunity. Opening the doors into the bedroom has the judges all amazed that it could still convert to a living room while being sold as a bedroom. “The way it’s been executed,” offers Neale, “Makes it so beautifully done.”

M&D’s rooms are hoping for a WOW from the judges, and that’s just what they get from all three. “It’s certainly not underwhelming,” offers the IceMan who likes everything about the hallway pictures EXCEPT the picture itself. HRH doesn’t like the fake brick wallpaper and she’s disappointed there’s no storage completed. The plaster casts of Mark & Duncan add to the kookiness. Stepping into their third bedroom all three are hesitant and amazed at the Narnia-esque cupboard in the room. They feel it’s all cluttered and a disconnect with the wardrobe. It’s not working for Neale – it’s overwhelmed by the wardrobe.

For J&J, who maintained their clean, simple palate though it proves to be underwhelming in the hallway. Storage is as storage does, and they find the underfloor freezers which asks the practical question of: How the hell do you use it? Queen Shaynna’s bored, but then there’s no jugglers or strippers. Everyone’s bored – the room doesn’t do anything special. IceMan questions the cost of the fridges and offers that would have taken away from what the room could have been. Neale reckons they lost their mojo. It’s probably in the last place they looked.

Dan(i)’s rooms/hallway are welcomed by the judges. The boards & colour are nice, but no pictures? They find the man cave and it’s determined to be a massive space for storage, though you can’t stand up until you get into the main area. HUGE storage. The boys joke about climbing back down the ladder in their shoes, but HRH sets them straight: “It’s a true woman who can go up and down stairs like that in heels.” Preach it, sister. D&D’s formal lounge is more striking because of the artwork – it draws the eye and opens the room. It’s a better layout and “just better” in Darren’s eyes. The aqua chair is a win for Queen Shaynna. “It’s modern, a bit chic, and very impressive,” offers Neale. I think we have our winner…


The Blockheads assemble to hear news of their judgement. Scotty welcomes them and is more than happy to reveal hidden floors, secret rooms – one team even had a gimp. But who’s gamble paid off? Well, let’s cop the judges comments first.

P&A – The judges were blown away entering the hallway. The best of the four by a mile. The lights, the artwork, and the nude butler. Good linen cupboard but they were surprised to not add any other storage. The third bedroom/sitting room was very smart, especially the wall. The styling was near perfect – making the room so versatile could be a game changer.
M&D – The hallway made an impact – “nice, different, unusual.” The scale of the frames added presence, but not all the images. The judges are expectant of a good storage space upstairs when complete. The judges didn’t like the third bedroom. Too much going on. They felt the rest of the room wasn’t designed with the wardrobe in mind.
J&J – Hallway too clinical, and the nurse walking around didn’t help. Two big chest freezers doesn’t add the value the judges think they’re expecting. The main room is missing a focal point but that was a budgetary decision – not up to their usual standard, and missing J&J flair.
D&D – The bones of the hallway are good, but room for improvement. The storage upstairs is super impressive, and the formal lounge drew universal praise. The best lounge in a long time. Styling pretty much perfect.

The scores are challenging (Darren | Shaynna | Neale):
P&A: 8 | 9 | 9 = 26
M&D: 6.5 | 6 | 5.5 = 18
J&J: 6.5 | 6 | 6 = 18.5
D&D: 8 | 9 | 8 = 25

Congratulations to Phil & Amity, & commiserations to Mark & Duncan – this week’s Chumpions. Massive outcome and just what P&A needed… but then, everyone could have done with $10K. They’re pleased they can bring the baby home. Dan’s a bit spewing to miss out by a point, also noting they’re yet to win a room (it’s not a roster system, mate).

Mark & Duncan take it all in their stride and wear the jackets with pride. Duncan likes the tassles. Mark hasn’t seen tassles like this in a while. Maybe since last mardi gras.

Scotty’s now concerned with their power bills – the teams are using double what the normal household are using. Insert iiNet promo here. Whoever reduces their power the most (this week’s challenge) is then able to reduce an opponent’s scores by one point. Josh is spewing he won’t be able to use his curling iron anymore. Dani’s willing to sell Dan.

It’s been a massive week and it’s taking it’s toll – and it starts with power shenanigans… and it finishes with Keef dropping his bundle. Until “one all star” gets taken away to hospital, then shit gets real.