The Block All StarsMon, Tue, Thu 7pm, Ch9
The first week and the intentions have been made very clear – this is not going to be a smooth sailing expedition for the Blockheads. From the first challenge in Ronald McDonald House to dealing with their heritage listed houses there’s little time to screw things up. Time is running out and they’re all worried about delivering. Here comes another one indeed…

48 hours left and there’s still so much left to do, though Dan still has time to dream of glory. J&J decided to not work which leaves more time to disagree. Jenna gives Josh a gobful: “Can’t spray, can’t roll”. Dan(i) are already in full sleep-deprivation mode and there’s ALL their painting still to do. Simple.

Phil & Amity feel they’ve hit their stride and so are ready to fire. Amity’s found time to scrapbook and turn in her latest mummy blogger blog, as has garnered a peace deal between Anthony Mundine and the rest of the civilised world. Mark & Duncan have painted with some success, and Duncan even had time to do some unsuccessful wallpaper – but that’s when your extensive contact list comes into play. Good ol’ Marcos.

Josh reveals he’s ordered a whole bunch of stuff from Jenna as it’s easier to stick with contacts they know, even if they’re interstate – this explains the large delivery truck that just dumped boxes on their doorstop. D&D even imported their artist to get an idea of their rooms so he can be inspired. He’s very creative and uses all the right wanky words.

Duncan has been crowned the World’s Worst Navigator, but thanks to technology he can call his wife who can monitor his location thanks to his mobile and give him directions. Makes it helpful when he has to get home from the brothel.

Apparently this All Star gig isn’t an easy thing. J&J are proving this by battling with the paint sprayer in their space suits. Houston, we have a problem. First dropsheet trauma avoided they managed to get away with it this time.

Brad the Builder is P&A’s go to guy to help them get things done right. Phil is a willing if somewhat incapable student, and Brad has time to show Phil how NOT to climb on a ladder while hanging the mirror. Sadly he didn’t show Phil how not to spill paint.

“Designer” Duncan is scouring the second hand shops looking for black and white photos of Bondi and once distracted by a replica propeller he forgot why he’s there. Oh, that’s right – photos. And the propellor, because no home should be without one.

Time is running out quick for the Blockheads. Dan’s carpentry expertise is coming to the fore allowing him to re-use a door. Four years of apprenticeship for that – quality training. He and Dani are stuffed and know they just need to plug through the first couple of rooms before they can get to the “good stuff”.

Duncan’s now collecting his WOW fan before getting his OOH chair and his HOLY CRAP BATMAN propeller. At last the Dad jokes are noted as a side effect of excessive use of Swisse products. All these two need is Daryl Somers.

Mark trust Duncan implicitly. Totally. He has no other choice.

PainterMan(tm) returns for Dan(i) and she thinks they pieces are stunning. Unbelievable. Stunning. Hanging them will be a whole other thing.

Marcos has come to save Duncan’s wallpapering arse and he can’t even tell him what he did wrong – “trade secret”. Later Marcos buries something in the backyard, but won’t tell Duncan what. “Trade secret.”

There’s too much going on in Dan(i)’s mind and he missed replacing a floor board before the built-ins went in. Oh well. Duncan’s so tired he can’t remember what he’s doing either.

Everybody rates everybody else to win this week. M&D’s “Contemporary with a splash of rectum” still has a long way to go – this against J&J’s “styling for sale” which shows their professional hand (but they are held up by their choice to re-sand the floorboards after a stain came through on their wooden floorboards).

Dan’s decision to be their builder has meant he’s too busy and is easily distracted which means he forgets to do things in the room Dani needs him to do. Dani’s confirmed they’re completing the room this week – she’s not returning to it at all once it’s done.

M&D’s plan to restore rather than renovate means Duncan’s become the site butcher bird to collect the other houses’s cast offs to help him get working parts for their doors and windows – a saving of at least $1000 for them.

P&A’s window opening mechanism has just caused problems by sticking out too far for their flush blind so they need to get their window mechanism back from Duncan… who’s just sold them to the Heritage place to help recoup some costs for their build. Awkward!

Nowhere near as awkward as Brad & Lara doing ads for Suzuki in The Block All Stars shirts when they’re not even in the series.

24 hours to go. “Out with the old, in with the new,” offers Dan on his view of restoration, entirely missing the point. Mark’s pretty sure Dan’s behind the eight ball in getting stuff done – like his wife.

J&J’s re-sanding hasn’t helped but it’s under the bed so no biggie. Phil’s just learned that the doors aren’t gonna fit on their new built-in wardrobe. Phil attempts to “help” and is met with a curt “Please… respect” from the installers. In the end they manage to get the doors on just as Amity returns from shopping. While they’re planning the rest of the room and the TV placement, the installer asks “Why do you need TV – you not happy in bed?”. Well played, anonymous installer.

The wallpaper’s up for Duncan and he’s well pleased. “The only thing that could wreck it now is my furniture choice. Oh, and that properller,” he offers.

Dan(i) are trying to paint over the imperfections in their front room and when it doesn’t work he gets negative and she gets narky at him. IT’S LAST YEAR ALL OVER AGAIN!!! If it weren’t for the Swisse Mood Booster Dani would have stabbed Dan by now.

Last night before room reveal usually means frenetic activity, but instead it’s looking quite peaceful. J&J are at peace and M&D are saying WOW at their fan.

Dan(i) has taken to questioning everything again, and he’s not really helping her but he is offering a calm attitude. Jenna is called in to help calm the situation. “It doesn’t matter if you do the same as last year,” she offers. “OMG she’s used the same paint as last year,” says a worried Dani. OMG she’s still stressing about the same minute details. She must be on The Block.

With all their year of experience on D&D, J&J reflect on the trauma bubbling next door. They’re so experienced – like the Dr Phils of The Block. Come 4:47am everything seems well for all the teams… at least for Dan(i) who are still up but feeling buoyant. 10 minutes later the drugs wear off they experience the post-high crash and Dan is seen with his head in the freezer eating ice cream out of the container. With his hands.

Delivery day! J&J in bed by midnight and pretty buch ready to go. D&D are at the mercy of “no power tools” day so that door isn’t gonna fit. “We didn’t respect restoration enough and it’s come and bit us on the bum,” says Dan. That’s not all that’s biting you, Dan – that karma bus is a bitch.

M&D fight with a doona cover while Phil fights with gravity and level surfaces. The last minutes tick past until Scotty whistles for them all to come out the front. Everyone mostly got everything done… but a reminder of who’s doing the judging – a facially hirsuite Neale Whittaker, HRH Shaynna Blaze & Lad-about-town Darren Palmer.

First up Phil & Amity (naturally they’re pleased with their room). No more shabby chic, though HRH notes it’s a shabby collection of styles. Shaynna hates the mirror as it matches nothing else. Both Neale & Shaynna love the fireplace and a mention of their “no reno for teno” is pointed out, offering at least one sympathy point. Darren points out the door furniture but THE FIREPLACE! A solid start from the elders statescouple of The Block All Stars.

Mark & Duncan’s “Alice In Wonderland” room is pragmatically offered by the two tradies. Queen Shaynna proffers a verbal WOW and straight away notices the cushions, and instantly sits upon her throne. All three judges are taken in by the look, and Neale and his beard love the plantation shutters (I love his beard too). It’s all a bit overwhelming for HRH and Darren notices the missing wallpaper above the built-ins. It’s a great room with a big clock.

Josh & Jenna’s “relaxed elegance” (big change from Josh’s style plans) has come together well and they think their style has matured with them. In a year. Darren WOWs as he comes in and loves the floors so much he lays down for some special time. “Josh & Jenna have really grown up,” offers Neale, “In 18 months”. “The handles are wrong,” says Shaynna and Neale agrees – “It should have been no door furniture.” The rug isn’t big enough but all-in-all the room will attract any market from Darren’s perspective.

Dan & Dani both feel they’ve not respected the room enough. The judges tend to agree, though they like parts of the room. “Have we seen all this before?” asks She Who Must Not Be Questioned. The door is noticed, the paint runs too, cracks in the window, AND the faceplate on the powerpoint is wrong. All three judges agree it’s not good enough and Queen Shaynna doesn’t even want to judge it. “They should have been bringing their A-game and I think they brought their D,” she says and storms out. Darren & Neale follow promptly after her, but not before Darren shifts a pillow askew just to add to the horror.

The Blockheads gather for the reveal of the judgement, nerves aplenty. Each week there’s $5,000 up for grabs and Scotty remind them they need to bring their A games. The judges comments are straight forward:

P&A – The judges were pleased to not see shabby chic, enjoyed the window treatments. They need to think about their styling more.
M&D – The judges were incredibly impressed with how far their styling has come. (Duncan reveals he didn’t think the judges would notice the missing wallpaper.) The window treatment was near perfect, but feel the boys need to show some restraint.
J&J – The room created a fantastic first impression & they loved their new style. They offered they may have been too restrained and the room needs to be more personalised.
D&D – The judges walked in where the door should have been and it was downhill from there – paint drips, cracked window panes, power points. They don’t want to see the same thing again next week. This room has a lot of mistake to learn from.

The scores are somewhat telling (Darren/Shaynna/Neale):

P&A – 7 / 6 / 6 = 19
M&D – 7 / 7 / 7.5 = 21.5
J&J – 7.5 / 7 / 8 = 22.5
D&D – 6 / 4 / 4 = 14

Congratulations Josh & Jenna! In fact well done all the teams.. and well played Dan(i) for taking this week’s Chump jackets in their stride (on the back it highlights all previous chumps – which Dan(i) hold the record for).

Next week it’s the second bedroom and it’ll be all hands on deck after the first round of judging. “There’ll be a door, different colours AND different artwork!” promise Dan(i). A likely story…