MasterChef Australia All Stars – Sun 7:30pm, Mon-Thu 7pm, Ch10
http://www.masterchef.com.au/
Last night on Masterchef, the heat finally hit the kitchen as the contestants went face to face and front bottom area to front bottom area with high grade pure professionals. Dani, Kate and Justine all managed to gain immunity from tonights pressure test, while for the rest with two all stars set to leave the kitchen, forever! Until the final!
Callum packs his bags, struggling to fit in all his Star Wars figurines. Poh applies her face in the bathroom. Marion just wants to stay and win more money for her charity, selfless as always, not even realising that staying on the show will increase her exposure and guarantee greater sales of her “Marion’s Kitchen” range. Then they’re off to HQ, where their fate awaits.
“We walk into the kitchen and it’s a sombre mood” says Jonathan. Coincidence? You be the judge. Gary sends Kate, Dani and Justine to the balcony, their miserable reward for winning last night revealed. “You want to stay in and raise more money for your charity” says George, disingenuously, as he knows why they’re really there. “Not only is this dish very close to Gary’s heart” George continues, “but its also very close to stopping Gary’s heart”. It’s Gary’s beef Wellington, responsible for ending Napoleons reign of terror and inventing rubber boots.
“It’s not just meat wrapped in pastry” says Aaron, as Gary cuts thought the Wellington to show meat wrapped in pastry. “Everyone knows I have a phobia of big chunks of meat” says Poh with a twinkle in her eye. Gary makes things up as he talks about the pressure points, while George tells them how long they have. 2 hours and 15 minutes, to be precise. “if you want to stay in this competition and raise money for your charity” says Gary, without finishing and telling them what they need to do.
And with that they’re underway. “This is Chris’s challenge, being all meaty” says George, though we’re not sure if he’s talking about the food or Chris. “It’s the first elimination so going home this early would be really disappointing” says Aaron, though not for the viewers obviously.
After a break, Marion reminds us what the challenge is all about, as that add for Everybody Dance Now continues to cause viewers permanent brain damage. George and Gary are concerned about Aaron’s opaqueness and order him to breath, earning the enmity of the audience. Poh tells Gary and George to fuck off, in her own inestimable way, while Chris mixes his crepe batter. Jonathan reminds us all that the last time he made this dish he stuffed up and made the crepes too thick. George asks Kumar if a beef Wellington would be up his alley, to which he replies “ooh yeah”.
Aaron, in a state of panic, reads the recipe in a quavering serial killer voice, hoping to challenge one of the worlds greatest psychopathic chefs. Chris wraps his meat in plastic, as Julie places hers in the freezer, while Aaron continues to read his recipe, picking the worst time possible to engage in the MS Readathon. “At this point my brain shuts down” he says, as he realizes he’s wrapped the beef in wet ones instead of prosciutto. George lends a hand, and he manages to get it wrapped. But he’s so far behind as Marion is already taking hers out. Jonathan has his wrapped in pastry and in the fridge in no time, while Kumar is still struggling and is “getting a bit flustered”. “Oh shit I’ve forgotten about the pancakes….crepes!” says Kumar, correcting himself. But where are they?
After a break, Julie reminds all the methamphetamine users watching what has happened so far. Dani and Kate worry that Kumar is getting a bit flustered, but it’s far too late to worry about that. He is well and truly flustered, and pretty much fucked at this stage. Chris is having no such problems, calmly waiting for his Wellington to cook. Poh, more like Kumar, is behind, still assembling her wellington, leaving it no time to rest in the fridge. “At this stage I’m wondering if I might be going home” she says, not noticing the hell Kumar is experiencing, or the mess Aaron is in. Chris, who has all the time in the world, lends a hand to Aaron, who has 25 minutes to cook something that normally takes 35 minutes.
Julie has moved onto the red wine sauce, pouring in “One for the pan, two for me” until both are full. Gary expresses doubt about Hayden’s sauce, suggesting it should be “just over the bones”. “There’s a lot of whisking of sauces” cries Gary, only just stopping himself from adding “it’s a bit whisky”.
With 2 minutes to go Kumar has strained his sauce through a Muslim and he hopes the judges Ike it. Chris thinks his sauce is “tasty” as Wellington come out of the oven. Dramas for Poh as she’s forgotten to present her sauce but Julie reminds her just in time and a crisis is averted. Speaking of crisis, Aaron and Kumar have also managed to present something looking like a Wellington.
Jonathan’s is tasted first. Gary cuts in as Jonathan winces, perhaps imagining its some other meat of his being cut. Jonathan’s meat is nice and pink, and the red wine sauce is exceptional according to George. Gary really likes the little line of mushrooms, so much so that he tries to snort it up a straw.
Kumar is next. The meat is again cooked perfectly but “the only issue we’ve got is that it’s loose” says Gary, looking directly at Kumar. Yet his sauce is too salty. Hayden follows, and Gary reckons his meat is spot on, but laments the lack of mushroom. “It’s a bit naked” says George, although he could be talking about his Christmas wish list.
Julie ambles up nervously, but Gary says “it doesn’t get an better than that”. Yet the fact they only spend 10 seconds on her means that it did indeed get better than that. Marion’s is “well made Marion” allowing George a sneaky pun, but when Aaron comes up he admits that the “pressure of the pressure test got to me”. He only has time for a quick “uh oh” before we go to a break involving George describing the type of lubricant his grandmother and mother used. Western Star if you’re interested. When we come back, the uh oh is severely misplaced, as Aaron’s meat is perfectly pink. Yet the pastry is raw in places, while it’s missing that “amplified beefiness” that Gryndr was invented for.
Chris, full of confidence, strides up. “Beef is brilliantly cooked” says Gary, giving away nothing. “As a red wine sauce, it makes a great port sauce” he says, an indication that Chris has been too cocky. Poh comes up and debates with the judges the benefits of big slabs of protein. The pastry is completely undercooked on the bottom, but the sauce is “really really nice”, says a cagey Gary.
With the tasting done, Jonathan’s is named the best, as the years of shoving meat inside things comes proves to be time well spent. Then two names are called, as the free television exposure for their strange little projects comes to an end. Aaron and Kumar are gone. The next hour is spent with everyone telling everyone else how much they love Erwin and Komo, or whatever their names are, before they jump into a car and drive off into the already set sun, discussing and planning their future together.