Big Brother Australia – Sun 6:30pm, Mon-Fri 7pm, Ch9

Tonight, Estelle, Angie & Ray are nominated.
Josh adds to his harem.
Angie & Estelle become friends.
And the housemates become animals.

There are post nomination hugs between Angie & Estelle. Ray talks it put in the Diary Room. He believes the other housemates are threatened by him because he’s a hot Vet and that’s the best job in the world. (?) Everybody Loves Raymond…according to Raymond.

Estelle & Angie bond post nominations. FYI, Angie nominated Estelle. Estelle did not nominate Angie. They’re now BFF’s. Totes. Or something.

Meanwhile, little do the housemates know…an intruder is living it up in the Captain’s Quarters the night of the nominations. Her name is Ava and let’s just say the other girls are going to DIE when they see her. Kicking back in an Itsy Bitsy bikini with her champers, I wonder who she’s waiting for?

Ben and Stace debrief. Traumatised by Angie’s nomination. Bradley’s stoked he’s got a week free from nomination. Zoe suggests that people have looked beyond ‘easy’ nominations and actually made some tough decisions.

Josh & Ange meet in the bedroom. She’s taking it in her stride and being brave. Josh reckons she’ll be fine. A kiss on the head and she’s dismissed. Josh, you’re a lady killer.

Estelle talks it out in the Diary Room. She believes she’s an Outlier. Different. Unusual. Noice. She walks alone. A lover, not a fighter. A horse of a different colour. A one woman wolf pack. And THAT’S why she was nominated. Or it could just be that you’re really annoying Estelle.

Angie simply concedes it’s all part of the nomination process.

During dinner Josh is summoned to the Diary Room. Big Bro makes him an offer he can’t refuse. He watches a live feed of Ava in the spa and is beside himself. “what are you doing to us…this is SOOO you!!” BB tells Josh that this will be his 101st date. He’s like a fat kid in a candy store…but, hot. The next day Josh will have lunch with her and fill her in on all the Housemate goss before she moves in. BB asks him what his hot tips for a a good date are. Keep it lively, fun and ask lots of questions. Josh thinks Ava looks like a “tough nut to crack”… Josh must not tell anyone about his upcoming date or face eviction.

It’s the following morning and the house has been jungled up. The Narrator is introduced to the Housemates. Sir David Attenbrother is their Narrator for the week. Housemates must keep up with whatever the Narrator says. Each one is an animal. Michael: Lion. Zoe & Layla: Lionesses. Ben & Stacey: Flamingos. Bradley: Cheetah. Estelle: Elephant – Sir Attenbrother says the elephant is one of the most intelligent animals. Estelle cracks up laughing. Stacey out of earshot “yeah, we’re laughing too”. Josh & George: Buffalo. Angie: Baboon. Ray: Hyena.

Housemates descend into the Big Brother wilderness. They must do everything the Narrator tells them. All the animals bow to Michael the Lion in respect. Michael roars to his Animal Kingdom. One by one the animals unleash their calls to the wild. Bradley’s cheetah call sounds more like a Jim Henson Skeksi, while the Flamingos coo like gossipy housewives.

Josh, Michael and Bradley discover that their fellow housemates have the appetites of animals. Josh reckons people can’t control their eating habits. And Michael asks why people refrigerate the unrefrigeratable… butter. Peanut butter… You just don’t refrigerate that shit. Pff. Imbeciles

Ava is still on her lonesome in the Captain’s Quarters awaiting her fate. A delicious cooked breakfast arrives from Big Brother.

The Lionesses are on the hunt for a meal for their King. They ‘discover’ bacon & eggs that they must now cook up for Michael, their Lion King. But alas the Narrator tells them that Ray the Hyena must steal the meal away for himself. Everybody Hates Raymond.

Zoe, Ben and Stacey have a whine about Ray aka Tom Cruise and wonder why BB always rewards him with food. They bet it was mentioned in his audition and now it’s his “thing”. They think he’s playing the game. Zoe can’t stand him. Everybody still Hates Raymond.

Ben bonds with the crocs in the pool, like a big kid in a bathtub playing with animals Ange says. Always the entertainer.

Next door, Ava can’t wait to get into te house. She thinks Stacey will be a friend. Maybe Estelle, she’s confident, well spoken (her words, not mine) She thinks she’ll bond with Josh a fellow muso.

The Narrator tells Angie the Baboon to grab her bananas and head up into the trees. This baboon doesn’t like to eat bananas but rather smash them all over her face. Angie must rub it all over her body. She must sunbake with the banana on her for hours. This must be a continuation of her punishment for swearing the other night.

Stacey decides to give Bradley a makeover. A LADY makeover. Introducing Bradelina. He seriously looks like a 50s housewife. It’s quite shocking how feminine he is. George becomes Georgina. Not so pretty, bit bloody hilarious.

Josh takes a moment with the photo of his on-again off-again ex. Probably thinking about his upcoming date with Ava. Will he? Won’t he? I think we know the answer, but let’s pretend Josh has a conscience.

And here we are, nearly at the end of the episode and still no sign of Ava. Channel 9 are going to drag this ‘reveal’ on for as long as possible.

The water buffalos have a stare down and consequent mud wrestle much to the delight of the ladies in the house…and Ben. Estelle joins in, of course…

Michael, Josh, Ben and Stacey bag Ray again. He’s short, annoying and arrogant. While Estelle has a bung eye and makes Michael’s skin crawl. Ben is SO the instigator of every bitch session in the house. I love him for it.

@BBAUSURLY pops up on screen. Surly’s on twitter and taking questions after the show.

Estelle & Angie spoon in bed. BFF’s. Until they both realise they’re not.

Tomorrow night – we’re promised some Love Boat action with Josh & Ava…