Big Brother Australia – Sun 6:30pm, Mon-Fri 7pm, Ch9
http://www.bigbrother.com.au/

The post-nomination fallout: Wahngie whines, Psycho-la-la deals with it with hugs (“The queen of noms” *shudder*). Lots of stats – Estelle 5th, Angie 4th, Sam 2nd. Angie has a drinking problem/suggests a glass of whine will solve everything.

Srambo pops in for a chat with BB and is concerned he’s been nominated for “cleaning up too much”. He should stop that immediately and let them live in their own squalor.

Estelle’s moved into the fourth stage of grief (acceptance) while Wahngie is still in the first stage (denial). NEWSFLASH: Sam likes to workout.

Wahngie attempts an awkward conversation with LayLay and Zoe, but it ends up awkwards. “I think, like, it’s gonna be, like, interesting because like this week it’s been like, like, I look forward to seeing who, like, has nominated me,” she says. Josh in his complete wisdom and great editing notes that Wahngie is gonna have a tough week with her nomination again. The all seeing Oracle that is Josh also passes judgement on Sam & Estelle and offers no real insight other than Josh is brilliant in saying exactly what we already know.

LayLay is debriefing her kitchen conversation with Wahngie in the bedroom with Ben. Oh, this’ll be even-handed then. Ben rightly offers that it’s good that Wahngie has gone around and asked people what she needs to change but then completely ignore them. He also correctly notes that Angie is a complete psychopath.

The latest couple in the house – Ben and StayStay – have popped into the Diary Room for a quick wedding. Who would have thought Angie would be a better beard for Ben than Josh is for Michael?!

NEWSFLASH: Sam & Layla are kissing in the bathroom. Also, Zoe is Michael’s stalker. ALSO, Michael doesn’t want to know and confides in Wahngie with it (for some stupid reason).

Wahngie attempts a comedic voice and fails. Michael was also trying to have a serious conversation with her so it does nothing to help. ERMAHGERD.

StayStay gets busted for swearing in the kitchen – off to the naughty corner for her where she has to squeeze three crates of oranges (much to the chagrin of the other HMs). She apologises, but it’s no use. Squeezing time. Mikey pretends to be BB which is pretty funny, so naturally Wahngie has to have a go. It prompts StayStay to ask her how it feels to be nominated.

Zoe debriefs the Wahngie conversation with BB and can’t believe her reactions. Mikey invites Wahngie for a “cud-cud” (my God), which puts her in a worse mood because she wants to mope publicly but not be consoled. What a child.

Now she tears up “because it’s hard”. Mikey gives her a cuddle while StayStay offers what sympathy she can from inside the Naughty Corner. STOP. CRYING TIME. “It sucks so bad – three weeks in a row with no break. Why can’t someone else have a go so I can have a break?” – Wahngie reveals her complete lack of understanding over how nominations work. She tells those now around her that it sucks more because the nominations are from her fellow HMs.

Psycho-la-la and LayLay up and at them early to prepare brekky – including a new recipe instead of Layla’s usual oats: Pancakes. They’ve decided to make the other HMs brekky in bed… at 10am. Josh is pleased for their effort, but is very critical of their coffee-making ability. Ben wants to yell at them for making crap coffee.

BB alerts the HMs – he’s taking the day off. No Diary Room. All rules apply, they will be monitored, but no BB. Which means no hot water. LayLay now wants to go to the Diary Room for no reason just because there’s nobody around. IT sends a rumble through the HMs, but mostly they’re too tired to care.

The pancakes arrive which wake the rest up. Josh dreams of BB having sent in his kids to watch the HMs, including his 17yo daughter. They speculate what BB is up to with his day off – he’s likely going to a job interview in case the series doesn’t get renewed in 2013. Or mucking about in Dreamworld.

Sam & Zoe embarrass LayLay by telling her how beautiful she looks, while Mikey trys to put on as many pairs of undies as he can and then parades around the house like that. “Who’s undies do you have on?” asks Zoe. “I dunno,” Mikey replies.

Wahngie and LayLay talk about Zoe’s crush on Mikey, and how he’s not that keen on the whole thing. “Awky.”

Josh doesn’t wanna get out of bed – so Mikey decides to paint his face in shaving cream, inferring he’ll shave his face, then he wipes it all off on his towel.

Wahngie tells StayStay her first love hurt her, as Sam walks up and says he’s never been in love. There’s talk of commitment phobia, and StayStay offers to smack him up. They push him on LayLay, but he doesn’t commit.

Josh still not out, so it’s makeover/makeup time. Mikey wants in too, so he jumps into bed too. Mikey looks scarily like an awkwardly pretty woman. Then the boys complain about cleaning it off as they clean it off. “How do chicks do it every day?!”

Wahngie presses Zoe about her kind of guy. Her list is reasonable – and then mentions if she brought home Mikey her parents would have a cow. Cut to Ben talking to Zoe about how starstruck he is with LayLay. He feels there’s something about her that overwhelms him and he can’t process it properly. “I think it’s because I think she’s actually Beyonce.”

BB’s helper calls Josh & Mikey to the Diary Room. BB isn’t happy. Traffic was bad, and BB missed his flight. BB’s helper gets all the HMs to clean the place top to bottom. It gets a little awkward at the end too. BUT ENOUGH! TO THE CLEANING!

The bromance has extended to the bathroom cleaning where the boys skid across the floor on the sponges – “It’s like ice skating for poor people.”

Ben & Zoe talk about Ben’s hesitancy to connect with Wahngie. Zoe admits she’s spent her life avoiding people like her. It’s clear they both don’t like her but are hyper-aware of how it looks to not be nice to her. They are agog at Wahngie’s rudeness. Estelle turns up and Ben tells her that he prefers to watch her because she’s an interesting person but also enjoys spending time with her – in complete contrast on how he and Zoe referred to Estelle not moments ago.

Cricket’s on in the backyard while Zoe’s perving on Mikey from the pool when BB announces his return. There’s been 58 breaches of the BB rules while he’s been away. He will not tolerate a 59th. OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!

As a dare, Michael is eating a tablespoon of instant coffee. It’s as disgusting to watch as it is to do (don’t ask).

Sam & LayLay are snuggling up on one of the outside lounges awhen Sam tells her that if she put on her makeup as the first thing each morning, he’d kill her. CALL THE COPS!

Layla has a discussion with BB about how she doesn’t want Sam to go. “He’s my blanket, my comfort.” She thinks he’s taking it harder this week than last. She states the obvious that it’s an easier thing to do to by nominating Sam.

All the HMs are called to the backyard where they see a Holden Volt in the backyard – one of the HMs will win one at the end of the series. Electric car! “You plug it in, listen to AC-DC, and it just drives!” says Michael. Naturally he goes straight into the Diary Room to discuss with BB. He’s shocked and surprised. BB asks his thoughts on Nominations – Michael is glad he’s not nominated, and feels sorry for Wahngie.

Cut to Wahngie wahngie-ing it up but what is funnier and far more interesting is watching Ben try to wrap up a lead.

Michael has so many questions about the car. Good Lord. But he reveals he doesn’t even have his learners! And, naturally, he again gets the final 7 minutes of the show devoted to him.