Dear #MKR, It’s over…

My Kitchen Rules

I've loved you, My Kitchen Rules. Loved you hard. Recapped episodes, furiously previewed and enjoyed every bit of cooking drama and relationship conflict you've proffered up. And I just can't swallow it any more. The straw that broke this camel's back was the hand-wringingly overblown drama over Kerrie & Craig's purchased curry paste in the $10 meal drama. Sure, it's a cooking competition and the contestants should be cooking food (based on this, how the hell are Josh & Andi still there?) but the wailing promos over what turned out to be a nothing issue has taken it too far. Ashlee and Sophia have moved beyond a parody of reality contestants to become spiteful, bile-spewing individuals who recite producer's notes as if their own. They've also proven they can cook asian-inspired dishes and not much else. Their best-before date has … [Read more...]

Cats fight to get back amongst the pigeons (#MKR)

MKR 2013 - Feildel, Fassnidge, Evans

Not only is My Kitchen Rules opening the door to possibly reignite old rivalries, but they're clearly casting a shot across Ch9's bow by lining it up against the series return of The Voice Australia season two and the start of the Logies. No longer is Logies night a free kick to the host broadcaster - it's game on. Also MKR busy, but it does scream a little of "look at moi, no, look at moi - I've got one thing to say to you Kimmie...". From the press release: My Kitchen Rules enters a new phase on Sunday night (April 7) when eliminated teams return to fight for a place back in the competition. Unbeknown to the teams still competing, those who depart after a loss at the sudden death cook-off will be given the opportunity to vie for a spot back in Kitchen HQ. The first teams stepping up for the fight are: Ali and Samuel - mates … [Read more...]

#MKR recap (Wed 20/03/13)

MKR 2013 - Angela & Melina

My Kitchen Rules - Mon-Wed 7:30pm, Ch7 http://au.tv.yahoo.com/my-kitchen-rules/ Tonight brings us a sudden death showdown between Jake and Elle, siblings from Queensland, and Angela and Melina, “real housewives” from Victoria. Why does the voiceover man insist on calling them “real housewives”? Are the other housewives on the show holograms or something? Perhaps futuristic robots, programmed only to cook and say snarky things to the camera? Maybe we'll find out tonight!* *Spoiler: We won't. “I never pictured us in this particular situation,” Jake says as they arrive at the kitchen. Look, Jake, nobody goes into something like this thinking “gee, I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose the HECK out of this.” Except – maybe! - for Kieran and Nastassia (They're so quirky!). When tonight's showdown-ees gather in front of Pete and Manu, … [Read more...]

#MKR recap (Tue 19/03/13)

MKR 2013 - Manu & Pete

My Kitchen Rules - Mon-Wed 7:30pm, Ch7 http://au.tv.yahoo.com/my-kitchen-rules/ Previously on My Kitchen Rules the contestants were let loose on as many C-Grade celebrities as Channel 7 could put their hands on. Conveniently it wasn't many and not too many of them were memorable (KRudd, anyone?) but that still didn't stop Lispy having her own Mischa Barton moment, sans Mischa Barton. Sadly Jake & Elle fell afoul of the mango/prawn ratio that so gets Manu's goat. Tonight it's a cook off to fight to not cook off any further especially tomorrow night. BUT WHAT'S THIS? MORE MISDIRECTED HINTS AND TRAGEDY?! That's "controversal"... God bless you, Steph. THIS IS THE BEST!... Here we are in Kitchen HQ again and all we can hear reverberating through the halls is Andi's moaning. Lispy declares this week to be the most important week to be … [Read more...]

#MKR recap (Mon 18/03/13)

MKR 2013 - Jake, Elle, Kerrie, Craig

My Kitchen Rules - Mon-Wed 7:30pm, Ch7 http://au.tv.yahoo.com/my-kitchen-rules/ Tonight the remaining 9 teams have a chance to poison Australia's A List at the Melbourne Cup and here's hoping they succeed. There's always the chance that someone will somehow manage to stuff it all up - apparently - and we all know that's the entire reason we've all tuned in. THIS IS THE BEST! Well hello trams/Yarra/Flinders St Station, we must be in Melbourne. The teams randomly walk into a commercial kitchen and Lispy instantly knows it's going to be some kind of challenge. Manu welcomes the teams to Mullboorne and Pete tells the teams they've been invited to the Melbourne Cup as the hired help. It's too late to go back in time Back to the Future style and warn all the people attending that they are about to eat food made by amateurs that could … [Read more...]

#MKR recap (Thu 14/03/13)

MKR 2013 - Ali & Samuel

My Kitchen Rules - Mon-Thu 7:30pm, Ch7 http://au.tv.yahoo.com/my-kitchen-rules/ After a week of success (for most) and failure (for some) it all comes down to this: Ali & Samuel vs Angela & Melina. It's exactly how Ashlee & Lispy planned it(!). It's gonna be intense if for no other reason than it's obvious that Karen Martini telegraphs who she's talking to in the intro. THIS IS THE BEST! Scary Kitchen HQ. Ali & Samuel have drawn the white aprons, while Angela & Melina have drawn the black aprons (and the worst smack talk ever). WHY MUST PETE TALK... IN SUCH A... BROKEN MANNER? It's always ironic when the judges ask the competitors - the worst two from the week - to deliver their very best or they're going home. As if they'd save it for now instead of offering it in the other competitions to STOP them going into this contrived … [Read more...]

#MKR recap (Wed 13/03/13)

MKR 2013 - raw duck

My Kitchen Rules - Mon-Thu 7:30pm, Ch7 http://au.tv.yahoo.com/my-kitchen-rules/ Last night nobody wanted to talk about the elephant in the room even with all that trumpeting. Ali & Samuel snatched victory in the form of losing the most from the hands of Angela & Melina (Funk Monkey muffin? More like BLERGH) and Kerrie & Craig (lettuce balls are bad, mmkay?), while Josh & Andi were considered to be successful in the most confusing of manners - I mean, really... zucchini chips?! And Cupcake and Joanna won - HAS THE WORLD GONE TOPSY TURVY?? Tonight the remaining teams are pushed together into two groups, forcing mate to work against mate and hate to team up with Ashley & Lispy as the two "super" groups (term used advisedly) must create a four course feast for the judges. You just know it's not going to end well. THIS IS THE … [Read more...]

#MKR recap (Tue 12/03/13)

MKR 2013 - cast

My Kitchen Rules - Mon-Thu 7:30pm, Ch7 http://au.tv.yahoo.com/my-kitchen-rules/ After saying goodbye to Mick & Matt last night, the teams felt a deep emptiness. How would they overcome their sorrow at losing their favourite father/son/brother combo? By throwing themselves into an offsite challenge at Taronga Zoo, of course, where the teams will have to prepare lunch for 200 kids AND they have to be delicious and nutritious and basically uninteresting to kids. THIS IS THE BEST!... Reeling. Gutted. Two words that could not be used to describe how the teams feel as they're all on a ferry headed to "somewhere". Samuel supposes they're going cook for the PM - because, after all, she got her own ferry jetty installed just for this challenge. Dickhead. Craig even attempts to make a joke about meeting Kerrie at the zoo, but by the time he … [Read more...]

#MKR recap (Mon 11/03/13)

MKR 2013 - Mick & Matt

My Kitchen Rules - Mon-Thu 7:30pm, Ch7 http://au.tv.yahoo.com/my-kitchen-rules/ Previously, on My Kitchen Rules, all the rules were thrown out the window so it became My Kitchen Needs New Rules which Minout & Pete gladly made up on the spot. The new rules were brutal with one team being "sent home" after cooking only three bad dishes. FFS, who'd work with a professional chef?! Again teams have failed leaving Cupcake and Joanna to face off against Mick & Matt in what is surely going to be the most underwhelming promise since Travolta & Cage starred in that movie where they swap faces for some reason. THIS IS THE BEST... Never before has Kitchen HQ looked more ominous. Except for every other sudden death cook off. Mick & Matt enter through the pretend doors, followed by Cupcake & Joanna. All of them have achieved … [Read more...]

#MKR recap (Thu 28/02/13)

MKR 2013 - cast

My Kitchen Rules - Mon-Thu 7:30pm, Ch7 http://au.tv.yahoo.com/my-kitchen-rules/ It's a whole different game now, people. The Instant Restaurants - GONE. Lisa & Stefano, Lisa & Candice, Jessie & Biswa - GONE. Self respect - GONE. Tonight all the remaining teams go head to head to cook or something... WHO CARES as long as someone cries (note extended intro). This is the BEST... Kitchen HQ. Everyone's back. Nobody knows where Sam is from and it's getting on everyone's nerves. All three Gatecrasher teams have made it through. The lion is laying down with the lamb. Pete announces the teams have made it to the second phase of the competition and they're stunned. Who'dve thunk it?! They'll be challenged, scared and intimidated, and that's just from the make-up demands of the 5 Spice Girls. The teams that won their rounds score a … [Read more...]